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So glad these days are rare now

Jcksjj's picture

Today has been one of those days that led me to this site in the first place. Luckily they don't happen all that often anymore- largely thanks to following advice on this site.

This morning I had to bring SD with to ODS conferences. Shouldnt have been a big deal, the school is 2 minutes away and theres childcare there. This morning I flipped on her light when it was time to get up and ready, she was already up anyway. I go back down there after getting the younger two ready to tell her and ODS to go out to the car. The lights are back off and she had went back to bed. I have no idea why, because she wasnt even sleeping when I turned the light on and it was 2 hours past what time she normally gets up. I tell her she needs to get dressed QUICKLY because were leaving. Get the other kids in the car and go back down about 10 minutes later. Door is locked and I tell her to open it and she says no, shes not dressed. Pretty sure it doesnt take 10 minutes to get dressed. I'm pretty angry at this point because were now 5 minutes past when I wanted to be leaving and I dont want to be late to ODS conferences. 

As she finally gets out the door, she runs into DH, who is usually gone at that time and I dont think she realized he was there (he left his phone in the living room and didn't hear the alarm so was running late). No shame about the not listening, she just looks at him and pauses and gets the "I'm such a sweet perfect little princess" look on her face and sits there waiting for him to give her attention instead of continuing out to the car. He tells her to get going.

After we get home, theres this convo regarding the chores issue mentioned in yesterday's blog. I want to make it clear that DH and I are on the same page and this isnt just coming from me:

"Did your dad tell you about doing chores today"

"No, he didnt tell me anything"

*sensing shes lying* "okay, I'll check with him"

*no response from her, flat facial expression. I text him and double check that he did tell her*

"He said he did tell you about doing chores"

"Yeah, he said last night I would be doing some chores today"

No hesitation, no uh oh I got caught lying, just told me the exact opposite of what she had said 2 minutes before as if that was perfectly normal and made perfect sense to do. Ughhhh

Oh, interesting side note, it got brought up at ODS conferences that his teachers had several classmates that they wanted to request be in his class with him again next year (they do that for special needs kids I guess) and I asked if I can also request for SD to not be in his class for the same reason (giving ODS the best possible environment to improve his social skills) and neither of them looked super shocked by that request. They didnt say much of course, but there was no looks of surprise or confusion either.


Siemprematahari's picture

Did you call her out on the lying right than and there?? When it was time for her to leave and she wasn't ready depending on her age I would have left her OR told H to deal with her nonsense. Do you think she was doing that on purpose to sabotage you all and arrive late?

What are going to be her consequences for lying?

Jcksjj's picture

I dont know that it was to sabotage necessarily. I think shes just self centered and entitled and thinks shes above rules. And other people generally just flat out don't cross her mind. Like she obviously knew she needed to continue getting dressed, but there was probably no "I need to hurry because I dont want SM to be late or get mad" or whatever. So no motivation for her to hurry. Honestly, her behavior seems more similar to my almost 2 year old in a lot of ways than ODS9 who is the same age. 

Idk about the punishment. Shes generally doesn't seem to care about any punishment. Any discussion about considering other people, consequences of not behaving is met with her understanding the concept but still not caring. At this point I really just want to continue limiting the impact on my life. 

Jcksjj's picture

They both at least have a lot of narcissistic qualities for sure, at the least. No idea what an actual diagnosis would be since I'm not a professional in that area, but I can definitely see that they have less empathy than the majority of people I've had close relationships with. 

MrsMiserable's picture

How old is your SD? This sounds like some bs my SS9 would pull just to be a little drama queen!! 

MrsMiserable's picture

SS alwayssss has to be the last one out the door, the last one to bed, the one holding up everyone being on time for school. And there's absolutely no reason behind it at all. Stinky goes to school looking homeless, never brushes his hair and doesn't brush his teeth half the time. These kids just enjoy being giant pains in the ass!!

Jcksjj's picture

Omg her teachers have said the exact same thing since she was in preschool! I've never really figured out the reason for it. 

Jcksjj's picture

Being completely honest that was my first thought, but I didnt want to be judged by school staff. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

My SD will purposely take her time on getting ready. When DH tells SD to shower she will wait until SHE is ready to shower.... it's beyond annoying 

Jcksjj's picture

Yep...she takes forever with that also. And she takes about an hour to eat every night. I have no idea why, no one is giving her attention or anything. Its ridiculous, everyone else will be done and off doing other things and shes sitting there with one chicken nugget eaten.