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SIL is not a skid but similar behavior

Jcksjj's picture

So I have a SIL who is in her 30s and left her husband about a year ago. She apparently has a long history of being financially irresponsible and leaving others, particularly her parents to clean up the mess for her. MIL enables it and complains but is obviously also loving being the enabler because she likes having her kids depend on her still and being over involved and "important" in their lives. 

FIL and MIL borrowed SIL thousands of dollars to help her get an attorney for her divorce. SIL is now making a good income and getting a large amount of child support and is completely able to be financially stable. But she told her parents all about her plans for her 8k tax refund, none of which includes paying them back like she said she would. On top of that she stopped paying student loans for the second time that her parents cosigned and inlaws are paying that for her now too. On Christmas she didnt buy anyone gifts, which is perfectly fine except for the big show she made of telling our kids that she couldn't afford to buy them anything and then having her kids open all of their gifts from everyone in front of them and then didnt even have her kids tell us thank you for the gifts we got them. I guess if it was me personally I would have messaged my brother and said hey let's not do a gift exchange this year or let's do small gifts instead, but it was obvious she really wanted to emphasize and let everyone know that she couldn't afford anything. She loudly told my 8 year old that she didnt have any money and couldn't buy gifts when  he didnt even ask and it was weird. Also I probably would have waited til others were gone to have my kids open gifts from relatives who weren't there and myself so that they weren't opening gift after gift in front of their cousins who only had a couple to open from the grandparents. 

Anyway, the point of this is it reminds me alot of some of the adult skid behaviors I see on here. In a way it also makes me feel better to know that "normal" families have issues too and life wouldnt necessarily be wonderful if I had went a different route and had a nuclear family instead.



hereiam's picture

It doesn't take a divorce for some parents to be enablers, or co-dependents, or just bad parents.

People can say "step this and step that", but bad behavior doesn't always have anything to do with being a step anything.

thinkthrice's picture

She gloated about being the first from our family to earn a degree in Psychology.  She now drives school bus part time for a High School.   Which is really bad for her as she's been an attention whore her entire life.  She would be the kind of person to have an affair with a teen student.  She's never held down a steady job; she's on her 2nd sugar daddy marriage and she's HORRIFIED at aging.  Her social media is an homage to all things her by all of her past and present boyfriends.  No sign of her husband on any of her social media.

My parents were actually giving her money even though she had no children to support on her own like me.  They never gave me one damn dime.  But then again, younger sister is the "golden child."   She actually thought my parents were going to kick off at one point so she dragged her husband 500 miles up to where they live to circle like the proverbial vultures.

Well parents are still alive and kicking in their mid eighties now and she believes she's going to get everything; little does she know they will leave most of it to the cult they belong to.

My son and DIL found out quick when they volunteered to drive her up to my parents house for a visit.  She bitched about her sugar daddy the whole time and "whoa is me" blah blah blah feel sorry for me blah blah blah don't I look MUCH younger than I really am blah blah blah.

It got so bad they left her there and drove back down