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SD cries to the school counselor

Jcksjj's picture

Since DH didn't sign up for counseling like BM wanted, BM set it up herself and her and SD basically are telling the counselor a bunch of lies. Today the counselor sent an email to DH and BM about it. It's pretty clear SD is being coached by BM to make it sound like she's neglected. And the counselor is basically admonishing DH while BM is apparently perfect.

Comments

1dad4kids's picture

A good counselor will see through it. Have your DH schedule a one on one with the counselor so she can ask him any questions she might have about SD

tog redux's picture

Agreed, although the fact that she sent that email without ever talking to DH is a sign of a bad counselor.  I train all my staff to take everything they hear with a grain of salt until they speak to the other parent.

Doesn't BM have her now all the time? What more is she looking for here? Why should DH set it up when she has her?

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah, I thought it was an awfully one-sided email for not even having talked to DH. And it seemed like she was really buying into their poor me crap. And I don't think she is a great counselor, I sent my ODS to her for grief counseling after his dad died and she only met with him once and never followed up with me. But this shes getting involved and telling my DH how to parent?

And BM wanted DH to go to counseling with him and then "maybe SD can spend more time" at our house. Basically she wants him to get on his knees and grovel.

 

advice.only2's picture

Meh I would respond back to the counselor "Not having any grasp of the situation nor having spoken to me I highly recommend you re-visit some of your counselor training, maybe a refresher course or two to help assist you in doing better at your job."

ETA oh wait never mind you said school counselor...yeah no I wouldn't give a flying fig what they thought.

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah I'm thinking we should ignore it and let it blow over. Let BM and SD know they aren't gonna get their way by bullying 

tog redux's picture

Don't ignore.

"Counselor,

Unfortunately, it appears that you have been told some things that are not true, by my daughter and ex-wife. I'd be happy to clear up any confusion and share my side of the story. Until you've spoken to me, please do not assume that everything you hear from them is true, as it's harmful to SD. 

My number is:  

Thanks, 

SD's father"

Jcksjj's picture

Straight to the point, thanks.

From the email what I can gather is BM told the school counselor that SD has self esteem issues because of DH. So they're working on her self esteem. I've never seen any hint of insecurity from her, all I've ever seen is that she's like BM and thinks she's special and wants to be treated as superior. And gets angry/insulted when treated as a normal person or equal to others.

halo1998's picture

I find it to be unprofessional/unethical of you to make judgments based on just information from SD and HCBM.  Please schedule a date and time for a conference so that I am able to provide you my perspective of the situation.   Also, please be aware that SD is not longer in my care and has been soley with HCBM for last x days.  Any issues with SD that have arisen between x date and x date will need to be addressed with SD and HCBM.

Jcksjj's picture

I really don't like that she's encouraging SD to be at our house more and be more involved with us in general when she hasn't even talked to DH about the situation.

tog redux's picture

I'd do this, but without the first sentence. You will start off on the wrong foot if you express that she's unprofessional.