I posted before about another lady in the parent/baby class I go to referring to her skids as her husbands kids. Today I realized I should be doing that also.
One of the teachers asked my about my other kids and then after that stumbled awkwardly all over through the conversation trying to figure out if she should refer to SD as my daughter or what the appropriate way to act about the relationship to her was. And then complimented me on her unusual name, which isnt actually a compliment to me because BM named her and created more awkwardness because I didnt know how to respond to that either since not only did I not pick it but I dont care for it. Which is fair because she really has no way of knowing if i do consider her mine or not (I'm sure I don't have to point out here that I don't).
On the other hand the lady that refers to her skids as her husbands kids gets way less questions about them and that same teacher just says "your husband's kids" if it does get brought up. No confusion or awkwardness. I think I'll be using that terminology instead of stepdaughter from now on.