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New baby and of course theres drama

Jcksjj's picture

So I had a new baby Friday. BM was going to keep SD until this weekend. Well she drops her off this morning anyway pretending she was confused about the plan. 

So basically either we look like the bad guys sending her away or I have to help take care of another kid that I wasn't expecting to have this week instead of focusing on my newborn. I'm sure you can all guess what DHs reaction was.

Comments

beebeel's picture

I wouldn't care what reaction DH had, he would be finding someone else to watch his kid while I hobbled around on my broken vagina. Eff that.

Jcksjj's picture

She came back and got her but of course I'm the one getting guilt tripped. 

"But I dont mind having her here." Oh yeah because it's about you 3 days after having a baby and major surgery.

Monkeysee's picture

These men are bloody stupid aren’t they? Mine actually suggested the boys attend my delivery because ‘it would be special for them’. I told him if they were anywhere on the hospital grounds while I was in labor we’d be getting divorced. He didn’t see the big deal. Absolute morons.

Jcksjj's picture

Omg. I wouldnt even have my bio kids at delivery...nor would I have wanted to be there when my mom had my brothers.

sunshinex's picture

Haha, my poor SD, 5 at the time, was there at my son's delivery - we had no choice because we had a really unexpected homebirth. Poor kid looked like she wanted to cry and shit her pants all at the same time. I'm pretty sure she had her hands over her ears most of the time - before she ran to her room when I actually started giving birth. I wouldn't subject a kid to that on purpose hahaha 

shamds's picture

invited themselves to my delivery next time i am pregnant, i would tell hubby i am giving birth in Australia where i’m from and if his kids and exwife are dumb enough to fly overseas and rock up at the hospital, i would page the nurses and say they need to get security to evict these people as they’re stalkers and not family...

i can imagine self-entitled miniwife sd’s in front of me  saying to their dad  in a overly fake tone “oh we’re so happy to get another baby sister or brother and we’re gonna be at the hospital” meanwhile the woman cooking this baby in her tummy is ignored and neverr asked permission. If sd’d were dumb enough to ask that, before hubby could answer “eff no!!” Would come iut of my mouth followed by i an giving birth in australia.

skids are not family to the stepmum birthing a child. Its the womans right who she wants there and if she wants privacy or has boundaries they must always be respected. Some of these men are such idiots that they think they can make executive decisions on people that can visit you and bubs in hospital 

SteppedOut's picture

Sorry girl. I get it. I was "expected" to drive my formerSO's kid that treated me like shit to school when I was recovering from a c-section (against dr orders of course). Would have been a 1.5 hour round trip. 

You know, cuz "sometimes you have to help in families". 

I REFUSED and everyone was shocked I would not comply. Didn't I care how the kid felt? 

Jcksjj's picture

The thing I dont get is that the kids dont even care about alot of this but the adults around keep insisting they do. 

susanm's picture

"Sure, no problem.  Hold on a minute while I take my handful of Percocet.  Ready to go, SD?  You can take the wheel if I start to get a little light-headed."  What morons.  I love how "sometimes you have to help family" applies only to them and not to the person recovering from major surgery!

Capricorn63's picture

I am glad you got rid of the kid.

I had multiple kids of my own so there was no relief from "kids" when I had a baby.  So honestly, I don't see what the big deal is.

beebeel's picture

Oh stop it. You chose to have those multiple kids. OP has ONE. She didn't make her SD and she certainly doesnt have to watch her after surgery.

Capricorn63's picture

petty woman drama....

I can't believe how women behave over having a baby.    This woman has had multiple babies. 

beebeel's picture

Not everyone coughs out a baby and starts digging in the fields right afterward. Delivering my baby nearly cost me my life. Don't act like it's easy peasy, gina squeezy for everyone.

Capricorn63's picture

Most people who have had a tough childbirth, do not keep producing more.

Usually when a childbirth is that complex, it is a done deal for most moms.

beebeel's picture

LOL sure. Now you're saying every single delivery for a woman is the same? I've had many friends who had two easy deliveries and one super scary one. I have a friend who delivered two stillborns before having a healthy baby girl. You must not have many female friends if you have that narrow of a view of the huge spectrum of women and childbirth experiences.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I’m sorry but I died laughing at “coughs out a kid” it sure as fuck wasn’t that easy for me!

Mountains's picture

I was thinking the same thing - not everyone pops a squat and produces a baby in the fields...

sunshinex's picture

I popped my son out within 3 hours - start to finish - at home. It was a fairly easy delivery, but I still didn't want my SD around afterwards. Are you kidding? I was walking around in a diaper for 2 days for god's sake. And even though I recovered fast, I still wanted to fawn all over my baby and not feel bad about anyone feeling "left out" about it. Fortunately, BM understood and took SD for over a week when I gave birth. 

Monkeysee's picture

Having your own kid there vs having someone else’s kid there is a big difference for most people. 

Jcksjj's picture

I have 2 other kids. Including a one year old who is needing extra attention because hes confused and doesnt know why I was gone 2 days. SD gave zero shits about being here and happily went back to her moms while BM smirked at the drama she caused.

And you're 100 percent right other people's kids are different. If she was decent it would be different also. But no this kid sat there last week she was here and watched her 1 year old brother fall down the stairs after she opened the baby gate and just ignored him. Didnt have any reaction to him crying or care if he was hurt. I dont have the ability or time to monitor that behavior and DH doesnt think it's a concern. Well hes alternating between saying it's not a concern and admitting he deals with things by burying his head in the sand and I should be able to do that also.

Ursula's picture

Is your husband there to take care of SD?  If he is, I think that's fine.  However, if he is going to work and expecting you to take care of your new baby and SD he is of course way out of line?

beebeel's picture

My husband took two weeks off after our son was born and the first week we did not have the skids. I was learning to breastfeed and was wearing a freaking diaper myself. Overnight visitors were not an option.

Ursula's picture

obviously people have different feelings about that.  I had a c section and my husband didn't switch up from the regular 50/50 custody schedule after my DD was born.  But he was there to take care of her and I was fine with that.

Jcksjj's picture

I'd be fine with it if either A. She was a decent kind kid like I think most big sisters are or B. DH would quit pretending shes acting fine when shes not and actually watch her.

Ursula's picture

I understand that.  My SD was very excited about her new sister.  If I was in your situation, I would feel the same way you do.

Br1ghterS1de's picture

I read the BabyGate blog (and in my mind, it's now known as BabyGate like WaterGate) not realizing that this was the same child being dropped off in this blog post (well, until you said it). I wouldn't want her around my newborn anyway even if I'd hiccuped the baby out, was posing in front of the British press two hours later and having tea with the queen that night. Fu** that noise. BM can smirk all she wants, take that kid home.