MIL announced pregnancy for us
So MIL took it upon herself to post our pregnancy announcement picture on Facebook before us. We havent had a chance to tell my family in person yet so I'm annoyed because they're going to hear about it in the morning most likely since my moms coworker is also MILs cousin. Its partially DHs fault because she asked if she should not say anything and he said it's fine but still...isn't it common sense to let the parents announce it on social media?
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Omg I’d flip out! Can DH not
Omg I’d flip out! Can DH not tell her to take it down?? Your parents don’t even know, what was she thinking?
Did she know you hadn't
Did she know you hadn't already announced it, or that you planned to announce it via social media? Your DH gave her the okay, and she ran with that. It's not her fault that DH gave her permission when you wanted it to have qualifiers.
Unless I'm missing something, the person you should be annoyed with is DH for telling her it was cool when it wasn't.
She knew we hadn't even told
She knew we hadn't even told the kids yet, he basically told her she didnt have to keep it a secret from his sisters etc. I am annoyed with him also for not making it completely clear. We just announced our last baby on Facebook last year though so to me it should have been kind of obvious that yes we were going to. She loves begging for attention on there though so even though it's not obvious just from my post it was definitely a wanting to be first to put it on there and get the most likes from relatives thing. I know that isn't clear from the post and hard to discern without knowing her personally though.
I disagree. There’s a
I disagree. There’s a difference between being able to tell people, and posting about it on social media. Most people with common sense would understand this nuance.
If your sibling/friend/family member told you they were pregnant & it was ok to tell people, would you put a post up on social media about it? My guess is no, because you are an extremely level headed & thoughtful person.
This MIL crossed a line, though I agree OP’s DH needs to have a talk with his mother AND have her take that post down.
That's how I feel also..
That's how I feel also...that most people would have the common sense to let the big announcement on social media be done by the parents. I mean you might say to a relative so and so is pregnant, but you probably wouldn't get up at a family gathering and announce it to everyone yourself for the parents. That's kind of the real life equivalent to me. Stomping all over boundaries and then throwing fits if she gets called out is MILs usual MO though. I definitely agree that DH should have been more specific but this also is 100 percent MILs typical personality to take over and act like she is the parent.
MIL is not the bad guy here.
MIL is not the bad guy here. She was told about the pregnancy, is excited, and asked permission to post it. Your DH told her yes. It's him you should be upset with.
She didnt ask permission to
She didnt ask permission to post it. He told her the kids didnt even know yet and she asked if she should not tell anyone yet...I dont remember his word for word answer but it was basically implying that letting his sisters know was okay.
If she asked
If she asked whether or not she could tell people and was given the go ahead by your DH then it is on him. Of course she is going to think it is OK. She probably thinks that you have already told your parents or have something going on with them that you have chosen not to share with her. This is 100% on him. I would get on the phone and tell them NOW before they have a chance to find out from someone else. Facebook is the devil and people are idiots with it.
I'm thinking maybe it's a
I'm thinking maybe it's a generational thing, i think it would have been obvious to me or my friends not to put it on social media before the parents regardless but maybe different rules for older people
I think it
I think it is a personality thing. I don't use it. I think it is stupid and destructive 90% of the time.
I do too tbh, definitely in
I do too tbh, definitely in this case which is part of the reason I'm annoyed. She posted it solely for attention because she begs for it on there in general and of course baby announcements get attention. She didnt even act excited hardly in person.
I also do have a few older relatives (older than her though and shes more "with it" than that so I'm really reaching to give her the benefit of the doubt here) that dont quite get social media or the reach that it has.
I ended up messaging my mom since that's the only way I'll possibly get ahold of her before but that's not how I wanted for tell her :/
I disagree with everyone who
I disagree with everyone who says it wasn't her fault and yes, she is the bad guy- I would be absolutely furious if someone did this to me. It really is no good blaming DH- it is her Facebook page and she is entirely responsible for what she posts there. I would certianly write a response to her on Facebook as the people reading it will be unaware that you were unaware she posted it.
Social media is not the place for such personal information, especially if it regarding her DIL. Boundaries crossed and I would defriend her from now on.