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It's the thought that counts

Jcksjj's picture

So MIL and FIL did end up dropping off gifts on the front steps, just much later than I thought they would. 

1 gift for ODS and 1 for the younger 2 to share. Probably about 20 bucks each. This isn't about the actual dollar amount - DHs step gma sent each of the kids just a coloring book and that was just fine with me. Because EACH kid got the same. Granted we don't know what they gave SD, but we all know damn well it wasn't just one gift. I'm sure it was comparable to Easter when SD got a big basket and a brand new bike while my kids got a small bag of m&ms. Or the $120 OTHER bike that SD got at our house compared to the other kids getting things like plastic balls. Or in August when she sent SD a bunch of new clothes and nothing here. Or all the times she's bought SD clothes and "couldn't find" boys clothes. Or the wonderful picture of only SD that DH got 2 years ago from them.

Theyre gross. Good thing our kids will have a great Christmas and remain unaware of their crap, but still. They're gross.


CastleJJ's picture

I would donate those "gifts" to a children's charity or a homeless shelter. No need to have pity gifts from your in-laws in the house. 

notarelative's picture

It's the thought that counts. But, in this case there wasn't even the thought. Three kids. Two gifts. That's really ...... ( you can fill in the blank with the word that I can't say here.)

Jcksjj's picture

Especially coming from the person who absolutely LOST it when we celebrated the SD and ODS birthdays together with an expensive trip. She went on and on about how she needed to throw SD a party because she needed to have her own day.

To me the thought was "I need gifts for an excuse to try to stop by and regain some control, but don't wanna waste too much money on it."

CajunMom's picture

Three kids, two gifts?? Wow. I can't wrap my head around that MEANNESS and to children. My kids would never see those gifts. I'd donate that. It's insulting. 

Winterglow's picture

Should they ever, EVER dare to ask if you got/liked their presents, tell them that one must have been stolen from your steps because there were only two for three children. If they are stupid enough to tell you that one was for two to share, say "Congratulations" and hang up (or "Congratulations, Mrs. Scrooge" if you prefer). Make sure there is a glacial silence between her answer and your response.

Ispofacto's picture

Are your kids all boys?  What about SIL's kids?

The reason I ask is because my mother strongly preferred girls.  Lucky for her she had three girls and only one boy.  But she treated my brother like absolute schitt.  My first child was a girl and she was delighted.  Then I had two boys and she was uninterested.

I'd made a habit of sending my parents 5x7s of the yearly school photos.  One year my youngest, my buddy, my darling beloved little boy was making a huge smile.  He's always been so excited about life.  I love that picture.  Mom said he looked like a brat making a monster face.  He was only seven.  I'm not normally a crier but that got me.  He so much wanted to be loved by her and my heart broke for him.  Shortly after that I cut my parents out of our lives completely.

I wonder if MIL doesn't like boys. 


thiscantbenormal's picture

I think her MIL is just doing the poor COD needs extra attention thing to make up for being a COD.

My MIL favors boys but only if they have ADHD related behavior issues.  My psychotic SS is her favorite and I think she feels sorry for him because he will struggle all his life. Her favoritism for him reinforces him being a smug narcissistic a-hole to others.

Jcksjj's picture

In MILs case she seems to like the ones with issues because she can "help" them and feed her ego and at the same time gain control over them.

diver111's picture

I have a MIL like that. Only the oldest SD exists in her world. Fine by me, I don't need her nut job influence around my boys. 

Jcksjj's picture

They are all boys. I think there's an element of sexism for sure, but it's not just that. It's like SD is "hers" and it's her kid vs ours. 

Its also just thats shes a b*tch. She LOVES triangulation and does it all the time. She asked DH once if SDs behavioral issues were causing issues between us and I got the sense that that's what she was hoping for and alot of this is to cause drama because she's favoring the one that's not mine.

Also, that's so sad and I would be heartbroken too.

thiscantbenormal's picture

Where the gifts age appropriate?  MIL gives 1 gift that is age appropriate and 1 that's not.  It's looking like when my kid turns 6 she will have a decent Lego kit collection to play with.

thiscantbenormal's picture

Omfg.....does the thought really count if it's something totally inappropriate for the kid to play with????  This is the second Christmas that MIL has gifted my toddler with those Lego kits with the tiny pieces. Kiddo this morning wanted to open this bundle package one. So we opened one to see how it would go. I ended up packing it all up and putting it up on a shelf in the closet. Kiddo still puts stuff in her mouth and she has little interest in the toddler legos/duplos that she already has.

Jcksjj's picture

Age appropriate, yes. 

Well, let's hope your kid does like legos eventually then

Caroline2b1211's picture

May your children always been protected from her. You are right, sounds like she wants to take control but not spending so much money on it