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Dh saw my post

Jcksjj's picture

So DH saw me typing up my "Ew" post from last night and asked about it. When we got home later he asked why I did and I said "I was getting annoyed and I'm sure you didnt want to hear about it." A little while later he came out and asked why I was annoyed and looked sad but didnt argue it at all. Pretty stark contrast to how he reacts when I actually bring up something directly with him. 

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Jcksjj's picture

He didnt actually come on the site, he just saw what I was typing into the box before it was posted. So wouldnt see the responses. But even if he did he would probably latch on the the few BM- esque replies anyway instead of all the people who get it. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Aw fuck. Sad

thinkthrice's picture

Hopefully he won't go ballistic.  Chef never infiltrated this site but I had a few BM trolls like there are today (you know who you are) pretend to know who I am and "blow me in to Chef and the Girhippo clan"  BWA HA HA.

He went into orbit that I was directly emailng a member here a few years ago about "HIS KIDS."   Became extremely defensive and tried to defend both the skids who literally shit in his face and the Girhippo 'n' clan!!!

Jcksjj's picture

Lol if they knew who you were they could've just outed you instead of making weak threats on here. I don't get troll mentality at all.

advice.only2's picture

I told DH I was on this site and if he could figure out which ones were mine then he could talk to me about it...I don't think he ever tried to.

Iamwoman's picture

A good marriage allows communication and respect for each other’s feelings, especially when one person doesn’t at all agree with the other’s feelings. 

Respect and communication are just so important, but while communication in this world has gotten better, respect and the ability to “agree to disagree” peacefully has all but gone out the window. In a world where people become violent over opposing political opinions, intolerant of religious beliefs, and will even go so far as to drop friends for these reasons, I’m sadly not TOO surprised that even in marriage, like the OP, one person is unwilling to accept the differing emotions or thoughts of another. 

Sad? Yes. Surprising in today’s world? No.

OP, your DH is emotionally manipulative.

Becoming either angry or sad at the emotional turmoil that a spouse currently bears is inappropriate. He should be taking this opportunity to listen to you, fix the problem, and be your hero. Instead he is slowly destroying his marriage for little humans who will become adults and have their own lives... leaving him with the mess of a marriage he created, or possibly no marriage at all. 

He is making his choices, and you can’t change his behavior or reactions anymore than he can change yours.

All you can do is allow him to make his choices, and then make your own choices based on how you feel about his. If he cared about you, his choices would not be those which cause his wife negative emotions. Clearly, he doesn’t care, and acting “sad” because his wife still has human emotional reactions to stress and drama is not an appropriate response in my book.

Jcksjj's picture

"He should be taking this opportunity to listen to you, fix the problem, and be your hero. Instead he is slowly destroying his marriage for little humans who will become adults and have their own lives... leaving him with the mess of a marriage he created, or possibly no marriage at all."

Spot on. Completely spot on.

I just have to figure out what my choices should be in response.