Tooth ache
You guys.. I know my solution would be to leave my situation but that’s not going to happen. So instead I’m going to write this so I don’t explode. My babies are both under the weather today. They’re coughing, runny noses, irritable. So guess who else is irritatable, and tired. This mom. Today on top of dealing with my sick littles SD stayed home from school so I can take her to the dentist. The past week she’s been complaining about a tooth ache. She has 7 cavities because her dad didn’t keep up with her oral health. We have to take her to a surgeon to get all her teeth fixed. It’s a giant mess. Anyways. We have this dentists appointment so we can see if her really bad tooth is infected again. She begs my boyfriend every night for medicine because her tooth hurts all the time. I just figured out why her tooth hurts. This little sh!thead has been stealing my SOs candy. She’s been chewing on jawbreakers, eating starbursts basically destroying her teeth with sugar. I’m so over it. I’m having to take my sick babies out and drive all of them 30 minutes away because SD can’t keep her grubby little hands off candy. I know I’m probably overreacting but again I’m running off of fumes as I’ve been up all night with my 3mo. It’s so hard to feel sympathetic for her right now.
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I didn't have sweets in the
I didn't have sweets in the house for years. If they're not there, they can't eat them and it's no bad thing to get used to reaching for healthy snacks instead. Alternatively if you feel you must have sweets in the house, keep them in a locked box so that you can monitor them.
I’ve been trying to keep
I’ve been trying to keep things like that in our house because I don’t want SD to feel left out of snacks and things like that. The candy is all SO. He eats candy like it’s a meal and leaves it around the living room. I’ll never understand how’s hes such a stick *biggrin*
Well tell your SO that he's
Well tell your SO that he's free to gobble as many sweets as he likes away from the house and out of sight of his children - but you don't want junk snacks in the house. If he's so selfish that he won't stop bringing them in, grab everything he leaves lying around and throw it in the bin. It's not difficult.
His daughter is what...5? A 5 year old can probably repeat parrot fashion that too many sweets are bad for you, and you should brush your teeth regularly but they do not truly understand the effects of eating the wrong foods or poor oral hygiene. Children of that age learn by emulating the actions of the adults around them and he is setting all of them - your own two included - an awful example.
As for him not taking her to the dentist, despite the fact she's clearly desperate for dental attention - I'm sorry, but what a revolting excuse for a father. Toothache can be agonising; nothing excuses this type of neglect.
BM hasn’t reached out in the
BM hasn’t reached out in the whole 2 years we’ve had her. She’s been doing drugs and partying which is the reason we ended up with her full time.
Sorry you are going through this
Sucks when the kids have to suffer because parents cannot parent.
Sucks that you have to shoulder all this.
Hope it gets better soon!
She is five years old.
And frankly, not taking care of her oral hygiene is a form of child neglect, if not straight-out abuse. She is 5. At that age it is her parent's job to ensure that her health needs (including taking care of her teeth) are met. It is NOT her job to know she should'nt eat sweets. That is what parents are for.
Toothache is horrendously painful. I would be ensuring that this child received immediate help (as the other "adult" in the house, it IS up to you to step up if he won't) and then I would be kicking her father's arse so hard he would be in pain for a week. Why you would put up with this in your home, I really can't understand. And I would not have had one child, let alone two, with a man so unprepared and/or unable to act like a responsible father. That was not a good choice: if ever you were out of the picture for any reason (say you were seriously ill, or even died), it may be your children in pain because their father was not capable of ensuring their teeth were cared for. The poor child is in pain, help her. The deal with him.
So HEY OP what did the
HEY OP what did the dentist say?
She doesn’t have an infection
She doesn’t have an infection they just told me to give her Tylenol for the pain.
So what did the dentist do?
So what did the dentist do? Pull the tooth, fill it, or what? Tylenonly might fix the pain, but what is going to be done to the tooth causing the pain. Is there a plan?
I’m very confused
This is the guy who spends all the money on SD's birthday so that there is no money left for basic bills and cuddles with her inappropriately but he doesn't care that the teeth are rotting and won't handle medical appointments when the child is in pain? How does any of this make any sense?
Oh I know it doesn’t. It’s so
Oh I know it doesn’t. It’s so frustrating. He thinks throwing money out the window and cuddling so much that she needs him is being a great dad.
Secondnomore---it doesnt make
Secondnomore---it doesnt make sense for a very good reason.
I keep forgetting and getting
I keep forgetting and getting sucked in.
Unless you don't have dental
Unless you don't have dental insurance, I think it's borderline child abuse not to take your children to the dentist! My parents had no insurance (and no money!) when I was growing up, and I had a mouthful of cavities!! I since learned that dentists now prevent cavities by SEALING the teeth from an early age. Both of my boys (DS 18 and 12) have eaten wayyyyy too many sweets, and have fudged on brushing wayyyy too many times, yet because they go to those appointments every 6 months, they have NO CAVITIES! In this day and age, there's no excuse for that. Even if we didn't have dental insurance, I'd try my hardest to get them in for the preventive dental care.
Your SO should be taking care of his DD
Not you. Don't care what his problems are he has to work them out. You should not be the dump
Update. Both of babies have
Update. Both of babies have rsv it’s been a day in between the doctors office and the emergency room. Since I had to take them with me to SDs appointment I probably infected every kid in that place and I feel so awful .