SD lying about my nephew
I don’t know why it started, but it’s been going on for over a year now. My nephew is 7 while my SD is 4. They get along fine for the most part, but they do fight occasionally as kids would especially with the age gap and the fact my nephew doesn’t baby my SD. They love playing and seeing each other they’re constantly asking when they can see each other again, but my SD will come home and tell my BF that my nephew is just mean to her all the time. She complains constantly to him about how mean he is to her. She makes up stories about how all he does is scare her and yells at her. Honestly when they do play together they’re either in the same room as me or my sister or with in earshot and we can hear everything going on and never do I hear or see him just being mean to her. He’s actually nicer to her than she is to him. It’s gotten to the point that my BF thinks my nephew is this awful mean little kid. It makes me so mad because he’s not at all. He shares all his toys when she’s over, but she won’t do that if he comes over. He will watch movies that he knows both of them will like when they watch tv. He’s just so accommodating with her but she refuses to do the same thing and then on top of it is lying about him to anyone who will believe her. I don’t want to have to keep them from seeing each other because I know they like playing but I’m honestly so sick of her spreading lies to my BFs side of the family about him.
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I have an SD that would do
I have an SD that would do that at 4, and DH would either believe her lies, and if she got caught in them there would be very little consequences. She actually lied about something my brother did, all over cookies while he was visiting, and he wants nothing to do with her now. I think he was worried she would eventually lie about something sexual next (and I honestly wouldn’t put it beyond her).
When my SD was 4, although she was oddly behaved, she was cute, loving, and I still had the big happy family vision in my head. But knowing what I know now, I would put my nephew first and protect him from her. He doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. And unless your DH takes off his rose colored glasses, it only gets worse.
Yep
I wouldn't encourage that relationship because the attention seeking SD will lie about something serious as GoingWicked mentioned. Keep him safely away from her as BF isn't likely to believe his offspring is a nasty liar.
Tell BF and SD that she can
Tell BF and SD that she can no longer play with your nephew if he's mean to her. You aren't going to get the truth out of her and BF isn't going to belive you so, stop.
"I'm sorry you think he's always mean to you SD. I guess this means you can no longer play with him."
"BF, I'm going over to my sisters and since my nephew is mean to her she can't come with me. You'll have to watch her or find someone else to."
"BF, my sister and nephew are coming over. You'll have to take SD out, I'll call when they are gone and you can bring her home."
If children squabble
Seperate them. Next time SD asks to see nephew, say no becuase you complain he is mean to her all the time.
As to sharing toys, I told my kids when they were younger, you can put away favorite or new toys before anyone comes over, but you have to share whatever is out in the open.