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BF insists I am now responsible for smoothing things over with his son.

J23wheeler's picture

I posted earlier about bio mom being the Devil and that her 18 yr old son who lives with us has stated his disproval of our sinful lifestyle. BF had an extremely long talk with him that our lifestyle is not for him to choose and frankly, none of his business. He reminded his son that I do a ton of nice things for him, and have for 10 years. He has told him to show respect. Well, this was over three weeks ago, and minus a major blow up from me about hypocrisy, SS and I have not said one word to each other since. I feel like I'm holding my ground. BF thinks I'm being childish and that his son and I are making the house a miserable place for him to come home to. I'm extremely hurt and pissed off still, and I know I'm not ready to talk! His mother has verbally abused me for 10 years, in front of all three of the kids, yet if I say one word about her, I'm shit. It's as though I'm not supposed to have feelings! Anyway, I thought about a letter. Started writing one, and ended up even more angry! The more I thought about everything, the more I think I owe this ADULT nothing! I can continue with the silent treatment, but BF is probably right that it makes a stressful home to come home to. Should I apologize for my lifestyle or the fact that after years of taking the high road, I finally said some things about his precious mom? The disruption within this household surely feels like it was her master plan to begin with. SS is just too naive to see that or merely doesn't care, or worse yet, has decided to purposely cause friction between his dad and I. Funny part, is he always finishes with, "it's not that I don't like her (me) as a person." Why the heck wouldn't he like me? I've never laid a finger on him. Remodeled his bedroom, washed his clothes and cooked meals for him all these years, and keep a clean home in which he has no problems bringing friends to. Keep silent or speak up?

Comments

J23wheeler's picture

So no apology for my outburst about his mom and hypocricy? Mind you, I have broken down only a few times, while being harassed and abused by his mom thousands of times. At least that's what it feels like. Her name calling and all out nastiness toward me has saturated into my soul, and like a cherry soaked in vodka, I may still appear the same on the outside, but internally, I have changed. And she has been the vodka. Strange analogy I know, but it's soooooo hard to apologize for my own feelings. Especially to a kid old enough to vote and fight for this country. He was around for most of it. He witnessed her hideous behavior, and my imperfect behavior doesn't hold a candle to her's. Not even close!

hereiam's picture

His son is the one with the problem (suddenly) with you and BF living together. What's to smooth over? Your BF already told him that it's none of his business, case closed as far as I'm concerned.

If the 18 year old is so against it, he should probably move out so as not to be subjected to such sin. The day I kiss my SD's ass, is the day skittles come out of mine.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

It takes two to live together. BF must be a guilty as you. Kid is 18, if he doesn't like it, he can move out.

Since he disproves of you so much, you should quit doing anything for him. No cooking, cleaning or laundry - if you are not good enough to live there you are certainly not good enough to do anything for him. If your BF keeps up, I'd quit doing anything for him either.

ltman's picture

He's a virgin isn't he. }:) No apologies from you needed. Oh how I hate those jr holy rollers. Talk to him, acknowledge his presence, but don't do any more for him.

ltman's picture

He's a virgin isn't he. }:) No apologies from you needed. Oh how I hate those jr holy rollers. Talk to him, acknowledge his presence, but don't do any more for him.

J23wheeler's picture

You're right. What good are we doing pretending this monster is normal? Funny though, all of SS family members tip toe around this truth.

J23wheeler's picture

You're right. What good are we doing pretending this monster is normal? Funny though, all of SS family members tip toe around this truth.

just.his.wife's picture

You need to seriously look your boyfriend in the face and reply

"That is not my child I am not 'responsibile' for SHIT that has to do with him. That's all on your and his mother.. however my dumb ass has been supporting him. Since however I am a sinner... he should not want anything from me. Convenient that he is an adult now, advise him as of July 1 all bills will be split in thirds. His third of the rent ($x.00) is due then, I will let him know his third of the grocery bill, electric, phone, water, sewer, car insurance, internet, taxes and effective immediately there is a $150.00 charge per week for EACH of you - that right- YOU and HIM- for me having to deal with his bad genetics/attitude as well as having to deal with your disney parenting/ refusal to parent. Maid service is over, so is catering, cooking, decorating and all conjugal events until further notice... if ever."