Ruh-roh, therapist said this
I'm not quoting directly since I cannot remember exactly how she said it but it's 90% this: "In step familes the kids are usually going to come first."
It was an aside to a different topic so I let it go at the time because I wanted to complete the topic. HOWEVER, I will be bringing this up at the next session to see exactly what she meant. If she means "sometimes the bio is gonna have to take care of a need over a spouses want" then we're fine. If she means "it's okay for the bio parent to ditch the spouse whenever a kid or the other bio parent snaps their fingers" then it's time for a different therapist.
I have a bad feeling about this.