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Ho Ly Sh It. DH has a boundary and BM is a total Disney parent

ITB2012's picture

After all these years of DH excusing and excusing the skids and explaining why it was okay for BM to do things and make decisions that affect us/me, and there be no boundaries there finally is one! It took a pandemic to discover DH has a boundary.

So this was what happened when DH called BM and YSS (separately) to talk to them about why YSS was at friends for hours and in another city two days ago.

--It wasn't YSS alone, it wasn't YSS and OSS, it was BM and YSS that went to that other city

--They went to look at a CAR for YSS

--BM said YSS was okay because he was with her (?huh?)

They apparently drove all the way to a stranger's house to look at a car. A person they do not know who could have been anywhere.


DH's points to BM:

--We are in a WFH/social distancing situation because of a pandemic

--You, BM, are one of the compromised population that could get to worse/die

--You, YSS, could be a carrier, pick it up, and bring it home

--YSS HAS A CAR, he just *had* to have one a few months ago and the two impulse shoppers (BM and YSS) got a junker

--YSS is losing his job in the service industry so he doesn't need a car (plus the money is supposed to be for college)

--Because you both not taking this seriously, the skids are not allowed to come to our house. They have also put OSS at risk and he could be infected, so ZERO contact with this house.

BM apparently had no idea the numbers were going up around the state, hasn't been paying attention, had no idea she went through one of the harder hit and more "it's nothing" attitude places, and hasn't been keeping the skids distant from anyone. Here's my question: what the hell was she doing taking off in the middle of the week to run her kid 200 miles away to look at a car he doesn't need, doesn't she need to work to keep money coming in, she's not in an industry that has shutdown.

OMG, I just about fell over when DH told me all that, mostly because of the hard line he took. I did tell him I was surprised. When DS said something about having invited OSS over to make a dinner together, DH almost slipped but I jumped in and said, no, DH said no skids here because of what they did and unfortunately that means OSS too ('cause face it, OSS probably has been going around with his buds, too). Later I asked DH and he said he knew OSS shouldn't come, it just hit him at that moment that he may not see his own kids for a long time. But he didn't back down.


CLove's picture

Its about time, right?

I think that when stressors come along (hello lockdowns and COVID-19) then the mettle is tested, relationships and boundaries are tested.

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Good for him!!! Nothing like possibly bodily illness to get him thinking straight!!! I know it probably hurts that he won't see them a while though 

Fedupmama's picture

We gave the SS's a choice, stay with us another 2 weeks or go to BM's for 3weeks. They decided to stay with us. This week fines from $1000-$50000 for violating social distancing. I wonder if BM calls the cops on us (it's been a few years), for disrupting the parenting schedule. I don't think the cops will side with her as she has just returned from travelling.