Give BM $$ for OSS car??
OSS mentioned at dinner (DH not there so just me and the kids) that his car repair cost $4k! On a used car with 90k miles that BM bought him without consulting DH though it was part of their decree that they had to agree on vehicles. And now they went and got both axels replaced...which sounds suspicious to me. And DH informed me he kind of agreed to pay for some of it! But that he’d have to talk to me first (great so I am the only bad guy here). Yet DH informed me he thinks he should pay some and it’s his decision and don’t we benefit from the kid having a car. Um, and we pay for all the gas though OSS has a part time job.
Merry F###memas.
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No way! Once you're old
No way! Once you're old enough to have a car, you're old enough to have a job and pay for what you need. If anything I would loan the money and have him pay it back in increments out if his paycheck, teach him some responsibility! And quit paying for his gas! That's kind of a need to do for yourself once you have a car, it shouldn't be hard to have money with a part time job and no bills!
How it’s divided
Apparently OSS is paying half. DH is then been asked/volunteered to pay part of the other half.
The other interesting comment from OSS was that he likes the car and wants to keep it for a long time...which suggests to me that this is not a joint car for both skids but that when YSS gets his license (soon) BM will get him a car too.
And we got a used car that we thought all the kids could share. So now that’s turned out to be primarily BSs car though that wasn’t the intention but is being held over my head.
So BM isn't paying any of the
So BM isn't paying any of the repair? Why not? Shouldn't your DH be paying 25% while BM pays 25%? I'm not moved by the fact that she bought the car in the first place, since you weren't consulted AND you had another car that OSS could share.
I hope you have separate finances.
What did he do that both
What did he do that both axles had to be replaced? I would want to talk to the garage that fixed it.
Gas money adds up. What does OSS pay to have this car? Anything? Time for him to start learning some responsibility.
4K in repairs! I would just
4K in repairs! I would just get rid of the car and get a new (used ) one for that!
That's what I was thinking. I
That's what I was thinking. I know where we live you can go to a used car lot and get something for around that. It will be older with alot of miles but it will run which is all a kid who's working part time needs.
That’s what I told BS
when OSS mentioned the cost. That if our used car for the kids needs that much repair we will just take the money and get another car.
And yes the axel thing is suspicious
Cars and Teens -- GRRR
I really think parents need to think long and hard before allowing teens to have a car. To me, they end up working more hours just to pay for the car, and neglecting studies. I know they don't like to take bus or bike to work, but I really think more parents have to say no.
It depends on your ability to
It depends on your ability to take a bus or bike. Where I grew up neither of those were an option but my first car was bought from a family friend for only $1000 and my dad was able to fix what needed to be done.
Fair enough
But the majority of kids are put at a disantvantage by having a car. When I was growing up, for the most part only kids from truly wealthy families had cars. Only a few worked for cars, becuase most parents realized it would cut into studies. Now every kid wants one.
I disagree with it cutting
I disagree with it cutting into studies. I had a car as a teen, with absolutely no help from my dad to pay insurance or gas, and I was able to do it all fine. My friends all had cars too and we all worked. Some of my friends were on the honor roll (I wasn't because I hated school, but that's on me). It can be done, and I feel kids are going to gain a lot more by learning responsibility and gaining work experience than they are from only focusing on studies.
I call BS on this as well, if
I call BS on this as well, if the kid can't pay for his own repairs, gas, insurance etc. then no car. You could pay your portion of the repairs and keep the car till SS pays back for the repairs, that might teach him some responsibility.
Tell your DH that you are
Tell your DH that you are okay with his gifting his son $100 for the repairs as his Christmas present.
Well, if you don't get a say
Well, if you don't get a say in how joint money is spent, then time to separate finances! Then DH can spend on SS to his heart's desire.
This is why I don't believe
This is why I don't believe in kids having their own cars... Personally I think that unless the kid is working themselves, ready to pay insurance themselves, and ready to front gas and the bulk of car repairs, the kid doesn't need a car.
If anything, a family car, that has stipulations attached, that they're just allowed to drive makes sense.
Fronting something like that on a used car is ridiculous. And if you're paying for everything, it's even more ridiculous for the kid to have a car. No mon' no fun.
Dh and I have already talked about these things... We're going to have a car the girls can USE, but that isn't theirs.
Axels replacement
is common on frount wheel drive cars. But it should be in the less then $500 range. No where near 4K. I would asked to see the repair invoice on that car. And make sure it’s not BM friend not padding the bill. But once again with other kids. This could become an expensive on going thing. With car repairs after car repairs.
BM bought a cheap car to let you fix it up for SK ?
Why on earth did dad agree to
Why on earth did dad agree to helping with a car and repairs IN a court doc to begin with. Bad decision.
A friend of mine took her ex back to court requesting 1/2 car purchase cost, 1/2 car insurance, 1/2 of cell phones, 1/2 college and this and that. Judge said NOPE. He was ordered to pay medical bills he owed and cs was reviewed since that dad didnt have a review in years and years. My friend was super mad
Granted she is a super great mom but she just thought she could get $$$ back on things he said no to. NOPE your dh made a huge boo boo on this one.
I would never hand over 1cent without solid proof. In your situation that means going in person to talk with mechanic.
So sorry op...
But that’s just it...
All the CO says is that neither can get the kid a car without agreement from the other. Zero statements about paying for it. And she bought it without talking to him. So far they split the insurance.
I did ask my ex as a reality check and he said he actually would be willing to contribute to repairs on the car we own that BS is driving but only if 1. Agreed ahead of time and 2. Able to get the estimate for review and agreement before work is done and 3. If it’s a reasonable amount that’s not like half or more the value of the car.
I'd be asking to see the bill
I'd be asking to see the bill. BM would do this all the time. Say something cost double the actual cost so that DH would pay the whole bill. It worked too, until I asked to see the receipts, then suddenly it was just fine and she'd just get the money from her parents.
SD and BM also bought a car for SD from an auction. I knew it was a bad idea, I've worked for car dealerships and know that just about every vehicle that goes to auction needs work. Sometimes you get lucky but unless you are a mechanic or know a very good very cheap one, those vehicles are going to cost you money.
Sure enough, SD couldn't drive her new car for 4 months. That's how long it took her to ask DH for money to repair it after he'd told her not to buy it in the first place. And Yes, he paid for it, but hey don't they always?