Kicked Them Out
So, as some of you may know, I gave DH an ultimatum. One way or another, he and Killjoy15 needed to move out of my house asap. He opted to cooperate, so I found him a condo two blocks from our home where he can spend the week with Killjoy and come home when Killjoy is at sports or in Satan's loving care. When Killjoy graduates, he can come home permanently. It is expensive when we should be doing makeup with our retirement savings, but I was losing my mind and this is cheaper than divorce.
I had began disengaging three years ago after Killjoy gleefully and deliberately sabotaged our 7th and final family vacation (I'm a slow learner). She had acted like an arsehole on the very first day of that vacation at a five star resort, I blew up on day 2 and spent the rest of the week all on my own. A ran into a friendly couple in the day lounge and they asked me "Does she act this way at home?" and I stopped and thought for a bit, and was like, "You know, you're right, she's pretty much an arsehole all the time."
And it's true. She's off the charts entitled spoilt bratty and does not take correction, and DH is a terrible permissive parent. After that blowup her bahavior didn't improve at all. With these skids, it's like they cannot sense when they are in the doghouse.
A couple of months later, Killjoy-then-12 sexually abused my GD-then-5. I had taken a sabbatical from my high paying job to change careers, unsure of when I would begin working again, and when what happened came to light, DH silenced me and refused to address it. We resolved that Killjoy would never see GD again, but I still harbored deep resentment about it. DH asked Killjoy if she did it, Killjoy denied it, and that was that. DD confronted her only to be infuriated by her denial and victim stance. I didn't say a word to Killjoy about it, I was literally afraid I might throttle her, so as far as she knows, I don't even know. The incident didn't even slow her down for one second.
(It turned out that my sabbatical only lasted 6 months, and I hadn't even exhausted my savings while paying the mortgage by myself as I had been for the last 17 years. DH and I had been together 7 years at the time.)
It was like my eyes were finally opened, and everything Killjoy did from then on was disgusting to me. The lying, the tantrums, the stealing, the sneaking, the scheming, the drama, the complaining, the sulking, the snarking, the snooping, the spying. I started hiding in my room...in my own house, while she pranced around with her nose in the air like she owned the place. And my resentment grew and grew, until I blew up and told DH he needed to leave.
He shouldn't have been surprised. I had talked often of getting my own cheap ghetto studio to get out of there, but wtf was I thinking, it was my damned house! Why would I reward the little bish for pooping all over me in my own house? I mean, how long did he expect me to last under these circumstances and why would he allow me to suffer like that?
So DH was sad but acted like a grownup about it, which is good. I miss sleeping with him, but I'm still massively relieved.
DD asked me how my first day of freedom was and I told her, "I got to go into my own kitchen and make myself a snack, and there was no one there ridiculing me."
"Did you go in your underwear?"
"Lol, no it was chilly in the house."
"Lol, I woulda gone in my underwear just because I could."
Satan doesn't know yet, I bet she'll be thrilled. She wanted to sow discord in my house and she succeeded. She didn't break us up like she wanted to, but she'll delude herself into thinking she did. She badly wants her CS...er...custody back. She is a true psychopath, the murderous, scheming, grifting, sadistic kind, and I'm glad she no longer has an In to my life. We'll see what drama she drums up.
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I told DH, "When Killjoy asks
I told DH, "When Killjoy asks you why you are kicked out of my house, make sure you tell her: Ipso KNOWS what you did to GD. Not THINKS, KNOWS. And if anything like that happens again to anyone else, the POLICE will be called."
Good for you! This is shades
Good for you! This is shades of what happened with me and DH when we got custody of Spawn. The last year I told my DH I was moving in with my parents and would come visit him on the weekends she wasn't there. DH was beside himself because I was taking our kids with me and he knew he was going to lose us all.
Thankfully he let Spawn go stay with Grandhag and she never returned. Spawn was so smug about it acting like she had won something, in reality I was the winner I had finally eradicated that growth from my home.
LOL. Like the tumors they
LOL. Like the tumors they are....malignant...
I love to see a woman stand
I love to see a woman stand tall and handle her business. Good for you!
Be prepared for a change in your feelings towards your DH as you move forward. He's let your marriage down badly, and is stuck with the booby prize while you're free to enjoy all the good things in life. You may just decide to make the arrangement permanent.
If there had been any
If there had been any touching, the police would have been involved and DH would have been kicked out immediately, regardless of my vulnerabilities. Killjoy masterbated in front of GD and tried to trick her into touching it too. She made a game out of it. I have no doubt if this intitial attempt had been sucessful, she would have continued. And they way she carried it out showed forethought and deliberation. She's disgusting and I loathe her. But by the letter of the law, and her age at the time, it wasn't illegal. Next time it may very well be. She still has the same entitled attitude and lack of empathy. Like her psychopathic BM, she doesn't seem to have "brakes".
I have raged at him, and he acts remorseful, but still has taken no steps to restore justice. I told him as far as Killjoy knows she got off scott free. As far as she knows, no one but DD and GD "know". I told him I'm telling everyone. He promised me he would let her know that I know, but we shall see if he does.
For now I have vented my spleen, but my rage may surface again. Losing me forever is DH's worst fear.
I think this may cause him to see her as the source if his ills. He already said he can't wait for her to leave.
But his continued kissing of her arse since the incident put more weight on the camels back. He says he understands that but I'm not sure he's capable of stopping.
When dishes kept going missing, he insisted he was "on her ass constantly", inspecting her room and being super strict. Right. But then there were dozens of dirty dishes all over her room.
But he called me the first morning to let me know he wouldn't be retrieving her large headboard from our house, because Princess doesn't "want it". I was like, "Why are you still asking her what she WANTS? Tell her what she's getting."
He doesn't even "get it" well enough to blow smoke up my arse. He presented her "not wanting" the headboard like it was good news. I've told him countless times I never want to hear "I don't like" and "I don't want" from her ever again.
She was steamed when we bought that gorgeous bedroom set at an estate sale without checking with her first.
Now on the heals of being thrown out of my house she's wheeling and dealing again. No notion she's in the doghouse. It's unreal. I bet she expects a whole new set, to soothe her woes. To see if she can still make him dance.
My 32 year old cousin
My 32 year old cousin sexually assaulted 2 of my younger cousins. He was between the ages of 14-16 when it happened and assaulted a 9 year old and 5 year old. No charges pressed it was family, even though it wasn't just a grab...it was bad.charges should have been pressed. When he was 24 he dated a 16 year old. Since it was the niece of another family member the mom of the 16 yrs old called my aunt and said tell your sister to keep her 24 told son away from my 16 yr old. Again no charges. Sometime in his 20s he got fired from Disney World for inappropriately touching a child helping her get on a ride. The parents complained and it was on video. They didn't press charges but maybe were bought off $$. Not pressing charges is not doing anyone any favors.
A very dark reminder of what
A very dark reminder of what can happen when you spend your life enabling your children.
Disgusting!!!!
Believe me, we would LOVE to
Believe me, we would LOVE to press charges. DD is actually a mandated reporter and so was I at the time (working PT as a teacher). DD knows very well what is legal and what is not, and what happened then was not illegal. Having the ability to walk that fine line is part of what makes Killjoy so farking creepy.
Do I think she could offend again? Absolutely. Which is why I'm so pissed at DH. It was the height of negligence to do nothing about this, and he still hasn't told her off. A year after it happend, I sent a long email to Killjoy's therapist detailing what happened, and told DH to talk to her about it, and he still didn't. I might have to go scorched earth on his ass yet.
In retrospect I kinda wish I had asked the police to talk to Killjoy, but I am not sure they would have. Even so, I'm not sure if she would have crapped her pants, or been thrilled.
Cat and mouse is a game she and Satan both love to play, getting off on flouting the law for the adreniline rush. Killjoy is old enough to distance herself from Satan, but has chosen not to. Killjoy's behavior indicates she is aware of her mother's theiving, scheming ways, and doesn't disapprove of it. She's emulating it.
And this is what happens
when Dads win a hard, drawn out, costly custody battle in which the BM has NOT assumed room temperature. They are rewarded with the "prize" running back to the other side.
Now that Princess Snowflake
Now that Princess Snowflake is kicked from the royal palace, I wonder if she will run back to Satan, who also lives in a dump but allows her to eat sweets all day.
Please keep us updated on
Please keep us updated on this. I know its a terrible character trait but I really do want Killjoy to suffer in some way and be absolutely miserable.
It's natural to feel that way
It's natural to feel that way.
This is a girl who kicked a chair across a restaurant because she didn't get to choose where we stopped to eat.
Imagine the biggest pampered narcissit you know getting kicked out of The Ritz and forced to sleep at Motel 6. That's what happened here. She's used to getting her way all the time, zero consequences, infexible, total control, no understanding of cause and effect. The few times we told her No or served something she didn't specifiically ask for, she lost her gdamn mind, and was mystified when she got in trouble. Imagine her jaw hanging to the floor. Shock. Stunned silence. Hours of it. I almost feel sorry for her.
DH didn't warn her this was going to happen, because I was convinced she'd do something rotten before she left, and he wasn't able to deny it was likely.
She's furious, and I have no idea what she is capable of. DH left our garage opener at my house, I don't feel safe with her having access to it.
She's not sane, not by a longshot. She's a lost cause. There's no point in even rehashing all the bratty shit she's pulled, because she really doesn't seem to understand right from wrong. It's kinda pathetic really. I just want her to know she will be prosecuted if she offends again, that is all.