Say what?
And another thing! These people can't communicate! You say one thing, and they hear another!
SD14: Do you think I'll be successful when I'm older?
Me: Depends. What do you want to be? And what do you consider successful?
SD14: I don't think you can say that to a kid.
Me: Say what?
SD14: That I'll never be successful.
Uh...como?
*****
Me: After you turn 18 and are out of school, if you want to stay here, you'll have to contribute.
SS15: What does that mean?
Me: You'll have to pick up after yourself, and either have a job or go to college.
SS15 (a couple weeks later): Mom says I can just live with her when I'm 18, since you said you're kicking us out.
Holy cow.
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Comments
Pity she can't go and live
Pity she can't go and live with BM now! Either that or you need a Star Trek "Universal Translator" device.
OMG I get the same exact
OMG I get the same exact thing, that's why I stopped answering SD 14 when she asks a question. My go to response for any question " I don't know, ask your father."
Because after she gets offended by something I didn't say. She calls BM and tells her I insulted her. Then runs to SO and says I am trying to start an argument. I am not going to be gaslighted by a 14 year old.
You were supposed to say: "Of
You were supposed to say: "Of course, you will be wildly successful at anything you do, you are so fantastic!" and "You can live here forever if you want!"
Because that's probably what one or both of her parents would say to her.
Not exactly
That's what her mom would say/does say. Her dad is too soft on them, but not quite as far gone as her.
Sadly, this is the making of
Sadly, this is the making of an adult narcissist who never wants to hear that she's anything other than wonderful and perfect. Way to cripple your kid, BM!
LMAO!!
LMAO!!
Have you actually sat down with her and explained your responses?
For example, my son wants to go into biomedical engineering. He is super intelligent and I know he will be successful and have a high paying job.
My daughter wants to enlist in the Air Force. She will obviously not make as much money, but with time, will have a great life if she stays in and if she chooses to get out and go to college, she will do well there too. Both of those very different paths can lead to success and fulfillment- but one will always be "more successful" due to the prestige and salary that he will have right out of the gate from college.
We also have the rule of you have the summer after you graduate to figure it out if you aren't going to college full time. You can stay with us but you have to be taking at least 1 class a semester or enroll in a trade school. You also have to work and pay rent. We even make my SS who is special needs pay rent. (It goes into a savings account for him one day that he doesn't know about). Even he is going to a trade school and working part time. You can't live your life as a mooch with no goals. At 18 you have to start adulting.
My husband just loved to get
My husband just loved to get screeching calls from his EX when the kids would tell her something that one of us said... then twist the intent inside out.
Ugh. Because they're so used
Ugh. Because they're so used to people telling them what they want to hear. People at a family get together told my SO's then 16 y.o. daughter that the large tattoo of a bong she got was "cute" and that "they liked it". These were ultra-conservative older, down to earth country folk. I thought I was in the freaking twilight zone.
Hahaha and a bit off topic to the main post
Maybe they all thought the bong was a vase? *mosking*
That reminds me of the time years ago when my sister was a bit of a wild college kid. She had at some point bought a shirt that had the Addidas logo with a large pot leaf on it. After she moved out (but apparently didn't take all her clothes), somehow my very conservative dad found said shirt and was wearing it as a gardening tshirt, because he must have thought it was a maple leaf of some sort as he would never use any sort of drugs and doesn't even really drink alcohol.
My sister and I both happened to be there one day when he was wearing it and died laughing when we saw him in it. She managed to get it back so he didn't (further) embarrass himself in front of his also conservative neighbors.
Sorry OP for derailing your post!
That is hilarious!!!!
That is hilarious!!!!
Too funny!!!! That's a riot!
Too funny!!!! That's a riot!!
Irene
That was my life. My ex DH and BM created a narc in my SD for this very reason.
Best not to say anything at all. No matter what you say the sh*tty skids will twist and turn it like the knife they have in your back.
Correct answer for a skid is
Correct answer for a skid is yes of course you'll be successful! You're the most amazing creature that has ever graced this earth, how could you not be successful!! lmao
This was like 2 years ago...
This was like 2 years ago...
SS17 always used the excuse "it was a mistake." Every time the kid did something it was a "mistake."
So, (before I was about 95% disengaged now) he broke a glass that I specifically said not to use because he had just broke one a week prior. These were glasses I got in Italy and Germany. Mugs and glasses are my thing for items to get while on vacation.
So he broke it, claiming it was a mistake blah blah blah. I was like SS everything in your life seems to just be a mistake with no consequences etc..
WELL, he went around screaming "MISSK SAID IM A F'N' MISTAKEEEEEE WTFFFF ARGHHGHGG!!"
WHAT!! Not what I said!!!!!!
He took me saying that he uses every excuse for his actions as a "mistake" to me saying HE was a mistake.
SO was like SS what are you talking about!??? Not what she said at all.
Crazies.
Ha!
The one saving grace I have is, they do the same to everyone. Last week, DH and SD14 we're having a political debate at the dinner table. As usual, she had no facts or coherent argument to back up her opinions; she was just repeating what other people told her. At one point, DH said "That doesn't even make any sense. It's just retarded." OMG. Total meltdown. SS14 burst into tears. "Just what I need to hear! My own parent says I'm retarded! You always tell me how stupid I am and I'm sick of it!" Every person there tried to tell her that's not what he said, but she was inconsolable, sobbing hysterically, and called her mom to come get her. So then the calls from BM start rolling in. Because my a$$hole husband called his kid retarded. Which he didn't.
Yepppp!!! He does this with
Yepppp!!! He does this with SO all the time so it's not just me either.
Tries to twist everything. Another one of my favs is (just happened again yesterday morning) blames SO for HIS bad grades. Ya know, SO being a parent and all BUT, because SO is "breaking his balls that's going to make him do less." Because that makes sense.. no Xbox for you now LOL.
Read my BM and her delusion blog. Another prime example.
I get popcorn and watch SD
I get popcorn and watch SD and SO go at it. Then when one of them asks me for my opinion I pretend I didn't hear what was said.
Ha!
The one saving grace I have is, they do the same to everyone. Last week, DH and SD14 we're having a political debate at the dinner table. As usual, she had no facts or coherent argument to back up her opinions; she was just repeating what other people told her. At one point, DH said "That doesn't even make any sense. It's just retarded." OMG. Total meltdown. SS14 burst into tears. "Just what I need to hear! My own parent says I'm retarded! You always tell me how stupid I am and I'm sick of it!" Every person there tried to tell her that's not what he said, but she was inconsolable, sobbing hysterically, and called her mom to come get her. So then the calls from BM start rolling in. Because my a$$hole husband called his kid retarded. Which he didn't.
That is how BM's head works..
That is how BM's head works....I feel for you.