I feel like I’m on a roller coaster.
Two days ago, SS15 got caught dealing drugs at school. And it’s like a bomb went off in our house.
BF and the ex are making all the decisions, none of which I agree with, and none of which I have a say in.
For instance, they took his laptop for less than 48 hours, before giving it back to him. BF asked me what I thought, and I said keep it indefinitely. Make him earn it back, if he gets it back at all. I said wait 5 days, the same length of time he’s suspended, as a cooling off period, and then reassess. That wasn’t even considered.
I suggested he be given chores while suspended. He hasn’t had a single one. I suggested he be forced to get a job if he gets expelled, and the idea was immediately dismissed.
When it happened, they were hoping he’d get sent to a group home or some sort of juvenile detention. But now they’ve decided they’re going to fight to try to get him probation, because they’re afraid he wouldn’t be safe in a jail setting. I’m telling you, the other inmates would need to be protected from HIM, and if one did hurt him, it’d probably be good for him.
And when they had a family meeting (without me of course) about it, somehow it became about how SS15 hates me and doesn’t want to be at our house anymore, because he doesn’t like me confronting him (his words). I only make him pick up after himself, and I won’t sit there silently while he disrespects his dad. And how did a conversation about him being a drug dealer, become a conversation about me, anyway?
Every single thing I’ve predicted about this bad seed has come true. You’d think they’d start listening to me at some point.
BF says I have a say. Apparently he thinks if he asks my opinion, then disregards it, I had a say. And I’m livid that he and the kids and his ex, apparently sat around discussing what SS15 thinks my flaws are. BF says he defended me, like that’s all that’s required. Like having a conversation about me, without me, AT HIS EX’s HOUSE NO LESS, is not a problem.
I’m angry and sad and I feel more than a little betrayed. I told BF I’m not sure whether I’m going to stay in this relationship. I thought nothing would ever take me away from him, that he’s the love of my life. But his kid is evil, and BF is letting him run the show, even now.