Sorry to post again.
I know I am posting a lot here and my posts are all too long but I have almost 11 years of garbage to get off my chest, and it is so nice to bounce around here with people whom have been there and done that. I just have had some extra time to myself which I am using to post the things that come to me that I have been wanting to talk about. I have felt so awful and alone keeping these feelings about SKIDS, BM and in laws in for so long. I have trie dto talk to DH but my resentments with how I have been treated by the baggage in his life have made him resent me and it makes me feel so alone in this marriage. A lot of our issues have been made worse by DH. He is not consistent with the kids. He doesn't stand up for me to his family because he does not want to cause fights. He does not do anything to make his kids show me respect. i dont care if they respect me or not I alwasy grew up being taught that you resepct the adults in your life. You can disagree but still be reepctful. I love my DH but get sick of putting up with all this baggage and how passive he is with everyone but me. He has no problesm telling me where to go if I get too bitchy but can't tell the people whom deserve it the most where to go. Why is this? Why our our DH's like this? I hate fighting for my rights all the time, I hate fighting with him but I also am not going to grin and bare it. Do the other people on here just feel that sometimes their SO's take us for granted. Also did anyone find a significant change in their spouse after marriage. I know there is a honey moon period but I want to know where the man I first fell in love with went? Sometiems I feel my constant nagging about SKIDS, MIL and BM have made him go packing figuratively. It sucks because there is always someone I have to put up with crap from and I am not one to stand for others bullshit. I wish I could take it like a door mat maybe I wouldn't feel this distance between me and my spouse. We have been together for almost 11 years. We dated for a few months then moved intogether, lived together for a year got engaged, were engaged for 5 years before we married, and then marriage suddenly changed everything. I woul dhave thought since we were living together and had a kid in that time marriage would not have done that to us this badly. Maybe it has been the rough times and losses we have suffered that has made it so much harder, or does officially saying I do really change the way a man looks at you that much?
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Hey there, Sorry to hear
Hey there, Sorry to hear about how you're feeling right now. With 11yrs under your belt though, you've made to a place where some of us hope we have the patience to reach.
First of all, do make the most of this site to vent.
Secondly, my situation is pretty different from yours - dated for a few months, engaged for a few months and then married. Marriage is still fairly new and any honeymoon period was pretty non-existent. I can't say that saying "I do" changed my DH's outlook much, but I will say that it changed MY outlook a lot. Things that never mattered to me before, suddenly mattered in a big way. And so the fighting started. DH, ex and SKIDS would have been cool keeping their dysfunctional status quo, but it really wasn't conducive to the start of a new life with me. I will continue fighting, but no longer to the point of not taking care of myself and baby-on-the-way, not anymore.
I can just imagine your frustration and exhaustion, after 11yrs. Please take care of yourself.
All I know is that if you
All I know is that if you are constantly unhappy, you need to make a change. Nobody deserve to live in a perpetual state of unhappiness. Good luck.
You are not alone. I went
You are not alone. I went many years without my dh being able to stand up for me with his family. Now we don't live anywhere near them and things are better. I don't know if he would stand up for me or not. I don't care anymore. I don't have to deal with them and I have told him that his brother and his sil are the only ones I care to be around, but I am not going to knock myself out to go see any of them! }:) I think that you just go with that thought that you are going to take of yourself and your new baby (congratulations!) and ignore the rest of them. You don't have to be a doormat. You don't have to grin a bear it! Just tell your dh that you don't enjoy being around the "Hatfields"! because your a McCoy through and through!
He can go "yonder and be by hisself with his kinfolk!" That's how I feel about my dh's family 
Thanks guys. Its kinda weird
Thanks guys. Its kinda weird just saying it to someone else the way i said it above made me feel a lot better and made me think of a way to approach DH in a way that was non threateneing to DH and we actually had a good long talk a good cuddle and he gets taht I need more me time and more of him.
That's great!! I told my FH
That's great!! I told my FH that I feel neglected when his kids are heree so when they leave we need to catch up. He makes a big efort now. That way they don't resent me for taking up his affection when they're here and I don't feel resentful of them either.
Communication is key, nd it needs to be when you are both calm and not already mad or tensions just increase.
I dont know how you put up
I dont know how you put up with so much for 11 years. I'm only in a 2 year relationship and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I think the kids should respect you. Id definitely care if they did or not.