I'm new to this site, and after a lot of anguish and no one to talk to, i can't take it alone anymore. 
DH and I have been together 5 years, SS and SD are 10 yr old twins. BM has openly said she wishes she never had to see DH again and wishes he didn't see his children. We have finally got to a point where we are allowed them every other weekend (sat and sun only, not fri night as is her "special" night with them) and half of all school holidays, but always 7 days 6 nights with us and 8 nights with her so she gets slightly more.