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Well we drove down to NC on yesterday

imagr8tma's picture

and got the most disturbing news ever.

First of all we stopped by the doctor office and the allergist's office to get a list of medications sd should be taking. Since her mother sent her with 7 different medications to take daily during her christmas break.

Well - she is only supposed to be taking 2 for allergies and one for asthma. The other ones have either been discontinued or only as needed for itching. So the BM has been overmedicating the child on a daily basis. For what reason i am not quite sure. But it is considered a form of child abuse.

Secondly - we went to the school to make sure the information was up to date. Come to find out - she put a phone number in the file that my DH has not had for almost 2 years. She knows the number has changed and she has the address. She calls the new number all the time. But of course does not want the school calling DH for anything. She was enrolled in private school in August - but earlier that month BM called upset that we did not give her 300 extra dollars on top of the 800 she gets monthly - so she knew the new phone number for sure.

Last and most disturbing - we went to the counseling appointment. We got that 30 minutes early and waited in the reception area. When they got there - BM walked to reception desk and sd saw us. She came over hugged, kissed, and told us how her day was. Then she went to tell her mom she saw her dad. Well, BM had already seen my husband and had the look of certain death on her face. She never looked at me though. She instantly picked up her phone.

Called her lawyer and asked could she ask us to leave. I guess she was told no. Then she asked the receptionist to get the counselor cause she did not want to have a session with DH. No go again. Appointment was not cancelled at that time....

So sd comes back over to us - and we were talking and she was sitting on her dad's lap. The counselor came down and saw this. She then asked DH to come up first to speak with him before the scheduled session.

At this time after they left, I watch the bitch (BM) take sd to the bathroom, stay about 5 - 6 minutes, and bring sd back out crying hysterically. She then asked the receptionist for 2 tissues and starting walking again. She then looked up and saw me. If you could have seen the look on her face. She looked like she was a deer in the headlights.

Needless to say after about 15 minutes the counselor comes down for the session to begin with DH, BM and sd. SD goes hysterical and says she does not want to go up there. So counselor then asked me to come up. BM could not believe it - so i walked right past her - told sd to have a great day.

Then sd tells me bye. The counselor could not understand how she was not scared of me like BM has told her. At any rate she asked what happened. Why did the situation change. She noted she saw how loving sd was with us downstairs. So i proceeded to tell her what i saw. The bm took her in the bathroom brought her out crying and then things changed.

We then proceed to tell her the long history and got a copy of the file on hand. In this file we could not believe what the BM wrote and signed. She told that the enviornment is so bad here that sd has nightmares, does not sleep at night, wakes up crying, cries in her sleep, and says we are trying to kill her in her sleep. She then says that we have her so scared that she hides her clothing to not come to visits with her dad. She said my DH is not honest with the daughter and that DH tried to hit BM while she was pregnant with sd and that lived together for two years after child was born. That he then went and got married without her knowledge.

Counselor tells us sd and bm will come back the next day. At any she had already given us a letter from sd's one on one session that is in direct contradiction to what bm told her. It stated sd loves coming to our house, loves everyone here, feels comfortable her and wants to be here. The counselor also said she would make a note of yesterdays happenings and the session today and mail to us. Counselor is going to talk with child alone again. Then she would send those results to us as well.

She also advised us to get a GAL and an attorney if we did not have one. Cause this is just not right.

BM told the counselor all lies about the situation between DH and BM. She acted as if they were they ones married and had no problems. Then he just up and got married all of a sudden. The lived together until he found out she was cheating. Then of course she found out she was pregnant. They broke up and she moved back to NC. They have not been together since before sd was born.

At any rate she has forgetting we taped the christmas pick up. Where sd walked out to me and then back to her dad and hugged him. We gave her dumbazz a christmas gift and left. We then taped what sd had gotten for christmas and sd told us she doesn't have any nightmares at all. We also have tape that bm and her mother (gm) has been telling her to say that i am mean to sd and that i hit her. SD is on tape saying that she can't understand why her mommi would tell her this. We purchased a new camcorder just for these reasons.

SO with all this new information and the old information - DH has no choice but to file for an emergency custody modification hearing. We will be talking with the lawyer on Monday to get things started. I am so damn appalled at this womans behavior.

We are going to ask that BM has to have a pysch eval, sole custody and supervised visitation - until she goes through some type of counseling. Something is wrong with her. I told DH i think she has manchausen by proxy syndrome and is hurting sd for attention. BM is emotionally, mentally and physically abusing her.

I watched this chick. She calmly took sd to the bathroom and brought sd out crying. She then stood by while child acted hysterical afterwards. Didnt ick her up - hug her or anything. When BM drugged sd out of the office - sd was looking back at me like please help me. She (sd) really looked defeated. She was so happy when she saw us - even told DH he had surprised her by showing up to the appointment and was happy to see him.

I utterly hate this fat bitch (please excuse the vulgarity). I wanted to get up and hit her when i saw what she did to sd at the counselor's office. But DH has to much to lose and i couldn't take that risk.

For the life of me i can not understand why you hurt your child like this. Can you really be that jealous of DH and his new wife. What in the hell. If she would quit looking back at what we are doing - she would have the time to look forward and achieve something of her own.

She has let all that pent up craziness cause her to just do things over the course of 5 years that is now going to make her lose her child.

I am a mother and a damn good one if i say so...... But i would just die if i lost my bd. I would be so lost and utterly destroyed.

But i am afraid for sd if we leave her there. Who knows what could happen next. Lord help us in this. We will need it.

Comments

Never Ending's picture

WOW I had to read your story twice...All I have to say is, Thank God, the little girl has you, stay strong
Looks like you have a good handle on this, best of luck

Most Evil's picture

I hope this works out the way you want. I would love to see a BM's tricks backfire on her, especially when she is abusing her child like you said.-! fingers crossed and prayers too Smile

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

Razamond's picture

I truly do not understand this jealousy over a man - to the point of hurting/endangering your own child. Don't get me wrong, I love my H but I would never put my child - any child at risk - especially for a man who does not want me. I don't get it. My H's ex called him and told him off when we got married - she turned truly evil with the sd at that time too - why? she is the one who wanted a divorce - she is the one who told this man she never loved him, used him for money and no one else would ever want him, she was the one who had another man waiting in the wings (and my H and his ex divorced twice and borke up three times all together - each time she left him for the same 'other guy'. So why does she care that we are together - same with your story why does she care???? I have broken up with men in my past and I just walked away - actually hoped they found someone else, to many fish in the sea kind of thing.

imagr8tma's picture

I have a bd13 who's father i was married to. I divorced him and moved the heck on. He doesn't pay child support and i am not about to fight him in court. My vacation time is for my daughter to enjoy with me.

They were never married. So i don't know what her deal is.

It seems like i am living a bad lifetime movie - with her as the leading lady.

I really wish BM would find a man and stop this madness.

When i sit back and think about the things she is doing - it doesn't even seem real to me. It all seems like a script for lifetime network.

October8's picture

Wink I totally agree with Razamond. When my exes and I split, I was never the type to remain friends. Nevertheless, I always hoped that they would find someone to love and care for them as much or more than I did. That being said, this feeling was purely selfish on my part because I often found that they would try and get back with me... So I wished an prayed for them but only so they wouldn't bother me anymore.
As far as what the BM may want, could be many things... I found that with our BM, the big issue is $$$. When I came into the picture she would play victim on why she needed more $$ and DH would give it to her. That gravy train has slowly trickled down, the other reason, may be that your DH, like mine, had given her a lot of control and now she can't stand she lost it.
For one thing, BM doesn't even know what a strong ally she has in me. I send good thoughts her way so that:
1) She get a good job (or any job for that matter)
2) So that she find a good man and falls head over heels in love
(that way she can leave mine alone)
3)So that she is happy so she will stop trying to make our life miserable.

And to top the list, I even would provide free babysitting EOW, when we have SS LOL Wink

Oh well!!

imagr8tma's picture

When she found out he had bought a home and was getting remarried.....

DH was taken to court for more childsupport. Needless to say that was denied. She is a teacher with a masters in NC. AND was already getting almost 800 a month. The judge told DH he was due to have the child support decreased.

But decided since sd was used to getting that amount he would not lower it. I agreed as well. Since she was in private school - I was thinking BM really probably needed it.

BUT now that she found out we did actually get married.... it has been holy hell. DH does not pay her late. AND he was awarded more visitation in the summer - 6 weeks. Now she is really hot.

AND going to crazy lenghts because of him being awarded more time in the summer.

So DH will just have to dig in his heels and fight to get his daughter out of this crazy enviornment before something drastic happens that can not be fixed.