Why can't SK have his own opinion/want/desire
Have any of you dealt with SK that is a good kid in general but manipulated so badly(In my opinion) they genuinely don't know where their own thoughts start and their BM's stop? Or have no thoughts of their own? And if they do dare have a thought or curiousity about something the one parent (in our case HCBM) can strike it down so quickly and completely they don't put up any sort of defense or backbone even if they were adamant about it with the other parent? Worse yet, revise history to the point you think you dreamed a scenario when in fact you know it was said/happened.
This is a useless fight, I'm just going around in circles in my head. I know I can't make the SK see it or change it and the few times I've gently tried to logically go through a scenario point by point with SK it's painfully obvious SK has no idea its a problem and/or is incapable of dealing with it and sticking to their own desires.
An example would be what to be when they grow up. Kid was interested in talking to recruiter. BM said absolutely not. SK is back for Summer and DH planned to go with him to recruiter to just talk and now NOPE it's not even a considereation because mom said no. And mom has chosen SK's life path and signed up for classes for that trade and hooked up with a friend that owns a business in that trade. (Great for launching but not anywhere near this kids interest or passion or etc.)
DH feels helpless, I feel some sort of combination of pissed off/sad and annoyed. I'm tend to be logical. If I show you A,B C why can't you get to D? DH completely gets why the kid can't have a backbone with BM, he barely escaped her hold himself. (dramatic I know but the stories he tells ...ugh).
I feel for this kid. This is where I wish I were disengaged and could turn off the care.