This is going to be my last blog for a while, because I don’t want to be a blog hog.
Topic: Skids who follow their dad around non-stop like shadows or leeches.
Many of you have complained about this. Now it’s starting to happen again at our home too. OSS and YSS have always had the rage-provoking problem of being up DH’s a$$ 24/7 during their EOW visits.
DH (in previous years) would tell them “go play” or something similar. They would scurry off, pouting and morosely “play” somewhere else in the yard, but eventually, like moths to a flame, would slowly circle their way back to being right up DH’s a$$ again. The cycle would repeat.
Then, DH stopped making them go outside to play. He had 6 months of peace where he could be outside, working on our cars and boat, without tripping over skids or dealing with their beady little eyes constantly on him, or their tape-recorder ears memorizing snippets of our convos to replay for HCBM later.
After 6 months of skids holing up in their room all weekend, DH and I decided to talk with OSS13 (who is also into cars) and ask him why he spends all weekend looking at cars on his phone when he has a car expert for a father from whom he can learn. We figured OSS13 was old enough and articulate enough (he speaks like an adult) to have “man to man” car-dude sessions with his dad.
Boy were we wrong. It quickly turned into OSS13 spending all day up his dad’s a$$ to the point where DH was literally tripping over him every time he turned around. OSS13 would maybe ask a total of 5 car questions in the course of 6 hours, but mostly just be in the way and doing the silent beady-eyed stare.
DH loves to hang out with me, but I’ve begun avoiding him during these times because it’s just crowded, awkward, and stifling to have constant eyes and ears on us. The skids have once again reverted back to acting like it’s mine and DH’s job to entertain them at all times.
YSS9 will follow either DH or me around, constantly asking “can I help?” You would think this is nice and sweet, but it’s actually not. When I say “constantly” it’s just about every other minute. “Can I help?” has turned into almost a tic with this kid. On Saturday, DH was switching the cars around in the driveway, and YSS9 came outside and practically tripped over himself as he rushed over to me and blurted out (again) “Can I help?”
I raised my voice a bit and said snidely, “Help with what YSS9??? Help drive the car? Be the driveway? What exactly IS it that you are asking to help with???” He just gave me a dopey smile and ran over to the car. When his dad got out, he said in the same chipper tone “Can I help?” DH just rolled his eyes, and said “YSS9 go play!”
DH is also annoyed by OSS13, but for some reason he can’t seem to fend him off the same way he deflects YSS9.
Have any of your DH’s successfully unpeeled a teen from themselves?