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iamlosingit's Blog

I want a re-do

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Do you ever feel like not matter what you do...no matter how hard you work or save, how hard you pray, everything just turns to $hit?

I've been trying SO HARD to be positive and now I'm wondering why I even bother.  What's the point.

Christmas Day

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DH was so "paranoid" about "poor SS" only having two things to open he went out and bought $80 worth of Nintendo Wii skylander crap for SS for Christmas.  I couldn't return the damn Lego's I got him because it was an online special.  I don't know why I bother.  I was getting into the Christmas spirit I guess and I naively thought that 1,600 Lego's was a fine Christmas gift and wouldn't require any overspending on DH part.  Stupid me.

oh DH...SMH....labels again?

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DH mood swings are giving me whiplash.  I swear.  I think I'm going nuts.  This isn't a bad thing, and is very surprising.

Last night DH was all worked up wrapping SS Christmas gifts.  This job normally fell on  me (I used to love Christmas) so DH doesn't have a lot of gift-wrapping experience.  This year I have left everything to him after his gift splurge on SS. 

Another nail in the coffin

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Visitation Monday. SS stayed up DH a$$ since we got here. DH started on homework with him, at the gdamn dining room table(again, FML. Biggest pet peeve), doing "funny character voices" as he explained*cough*gave answers.  Brand new huge desk purchased for SS 2 years ago...now a glorified TV and toy stand. I swear it's never been used, always the dining room table. The table I just cleaned and decorated YESTERDAY for Christmas with handmade centerpieces I did myself. Now papers and crap all over it.  DH made tacos for dinner.

Hating the holidays- vent-new year new life

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Someone posted a blog that really hit close to home today.  "why for her and not me" and it really hit home, especially today.

I am the only one actually giving to him both on an emotional and financial level instead of being a perpetual drain

This. ^^^^^^ 100%

And like her, it frustrates the hell out of me.

school pictures and christmas gifts

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I have a question since I do not have any bios.  Do school's really only send and allow one order form for school pictures??  Since DH and BM split over 8 years ago DH is usually in charge of ordering SS school pictures.  He has also been ordering and paying for BM picture requests on his form.  This is due to when he would order them for himself before and they would get sent to BM house he would always order her an 8x10 but she would go out of her way to go through the entire package and just take whatever extra sizes she wanted, usually leaving DH short.  Since he moved out he's been ord

changes for the better (somewhat)

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Been awhile since I posted.  November has been kind of nutso.

On the plus side, a few major things have happened:

DH has completely and unexpectedly turned over a new leaf.  He had a hard look in the mirror and didn't like what he saw.  Came home from work and we had a LONG talk, he apologized for everything. 

Says he is going to cut way back on drinking (so far so good, he's purchased one 12 pack this entire month and it was shared with his family on Thanksgiving. One drink purchased at dinner this month, all other times has ordered sweet tea)

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