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SD ended up coming over

I love dogs's picture

I was gone until almost 8 last night and SD was here when I got home. She had already eaten at BM's and hubby picked her up about an hour before I got here. They were playing Fortnight on the PlayStation and DH and I had pasta and salad.

SD was very talkative and was kinda up my butt all night. DH said he didn't talk to BM when he picked SD up, just waited in the car for her to come out. SD told me about her birthday trip and showed me a new game she got that she wants the 3 of us to play. She also showed me some art videos with supplies she wants to buy with a gift card she got for her birthday.

I noticed this morning that BM was sending her some lengthy texts but I didn't pry. Everything seems "normal" so I don't know if GBM and/ or BM's fiance talked some sense into her. SD informed us that she has an orthodontist appointment tomorrow at 4pm. BM hasn't said a word to hubby but I made a copy of SD's insurance card for him. We meet with the attorney on Thursday so I'll make an update then!


ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Well if nothing else that sounds good. TBH I was a bit worried BM would say something to SD that would make her moody with you all IF she let you have her in the first place.

Tell your DH good luck with with attorney! And thank you for keeping all us curious people updated Wink

I love dogs's picture

I was worried about a mood change, too. However, SD is a happy kid and can usually be herself around us. With that said, SD has learned to "play sides," if you will, as in she has learned to act the way she thinks she needs to, hence the lying about things she claims BM said but didn't.

For example, BM took her to see The Meg this weekend. SD told us this and that she wants to see it with us, too. On the other hand, we took SD to see The Incredibles 2 and she said she couldn't tell BM because BM was supposed to take her and would be "mad" at SD for seeing it with us first.

I appreciate that she's more open with us but also have been cautious because she's known to lie about BM.

twoviewpoints's picture

Is she planning on staying the week (as in the now 50/50), or is BM demanding SDback tonight? If she's talking a 4pm appointment on Wednesday, I assume SD believes she is staying. Even sounds happy to be doing so. But what SD thinks/believes and what BM has up her sleeve may not be the same thing. 

I'm glad Dad went to go get her. BM can shove that little 'chat' she demanded before SD could come,  up her rump. 

I love dogs's picture

I assume she's staying until DH drops her off at school Monday morning but from what he told me, it wasn't explicitly decided between the two of them. As for the appointment, last night SD said something along the lines of "BM needs me at 4 tomorrow for the appt". I said "ok, we will be there". I don't know if SD picked up on that but I told DH I'd take her since he's working.

DH said BM hasn't mentioned it to him so he's just going to go off of what SD says. This was his text to me: "Just what SD says I guess. I have nothing to say to her mom. It's her responsibility to make sure I know what she sets up on my time." So I don't know if BM thinks she's picking SD up, if BM is going to tell DH tonight or tomorrow, or WHAT.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

In BM's defense, she did say she needed to talk to DH.

Your DH can still parent and ask questions via text while also waiting to talk to the attorney. Givinf BM the cold shoulder when she asks to talk is going to make HIM look bad - and BM will surely bring it up in court.

I get it. I really do. However, BM is upholding the verbal agreement to continue with 50/50. Your DH needs to reach out and at least open the lines of written communication. At best, a judge will order that anyway. May as well show a continued good faith effort just as BM is.

You and your DH are going to have to realize that BM is going to act like a spoiled teenager, even with a new CO. Her crappy attitude won't change, and if your DH is legally going for 50/50, he better learn to communicate with her whether he wants to or not.

Again, I DO get it. BM here does the same crap when she doesn't get her way, but the people who suffer from going silent or giving her the cold shoulder isn't her - it's everyone else. You can't get rid of BM, and 50/50 will only drag her into your life more. Your DH (not you) needs to learn to communicate with her, even when she is being a pill.

twoviewpoints's picture

He offered BM mediation. 

He's not refusing to text on dentist appointments. Nor homework or whether BM or Dad is doing the drive for exchanges.   You know, routine communication. He's refusing to negotiate custody, child support et without third party. 

BM is demanding face to face talk. He is not refusing to communicate with the woman.He has texted with her on and off all week. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I guess I was under the impression he wasn't communicating with her at all.

I love dogs's picture

He is refusing to text BM to confirm SD's appt. tomorrow and said that it is BM's responsibility to tell him so I guess we'll see at 4pm tomorrow when he just shows up at the ortho..