You are here


I love dogs's picture

It is finally Monday, I never thought I could be so grateful! Last week was exceptionally sh!tty, not only because of the lunch time debacle. SD was just an a-hole all damn week. She was allowed to go to the movies last minute with her friend on Friday even though it was SIL's bday and she was our dinner guest. DH dealt with the pickup and drop off because I planned to host dinner. 

BM's bday was Saturday and DH told SD she could spend the day with her since he was working. SD came back with a sh!t attitude and it pretty much continued the rest of the weekend so I pretty much ignored her. She also isn't doing the EXTREMELY basic chores that she claims she can stay on top of. She wore the same jeans 8 days straight but her attitude is sh!t so I don't care.

I could go on for hours but just needed a quick vent. DH gets frustrated when he does notice it and he just yells at her and it's freaking awkward. On Saturday morning he told me how he got his ass kisses on the way home from the movie theater the night before. I shot him down and said something like "maybe SD should learn to have that attitude all the time" and he got really quiet. Earlier last week he was telling me that "you females" (me and BM) just want to discipline SD and I said that she isn't disciplined enough because no matter how nice he is to her, she still gives DH the sh!t attitude 80% of the time.


Iamwoman's picture

"You females??"

I would have checked into a hotel for the rest of the weekend after hearing "you females."

I don't know what's more insulting - being grouped in with BM, or being told that you represent the entire female gender in a negative manner...

I love dogs's picture

That did irritate me but I got him back by telling him that SD isn't the angel he thinks she is and maybe he should pay more attention to his kid and combat her sh!tty attitude!

The other day we had some words when he told me to not poop during delivery. He is catching the baby and we were joking around but then he said "BM didn't poop". I told him BM lives on Starbucks so I'm sure her coffee laxative cleared her nasty ass out. And the best part is I rubbed it in his face that he wasn't even allowed to be in the delivery room with SD because BM didn't want him in there! "Well my sister was in there" is what he tried to defend himself with. The sister he's talking about is iust as much of a flake as BM so idgaf what he says about either of them.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Please tell me that you don't expect him to be any different with your own child?

He just told you that the bulk of the disciplining with your child will fall on your shoulders. And that he'll respond to you discipling your child the same way he responds to BM.

Yep, he sees no difference between the two of you. You are the breeders of his children, and that's it. His comment about not pooping during delivery was super stupid. He made the delivery all about HIM. Not You, the one doing the actual labor. Not You, the one who won't be able to control your bodily functions. Nope, he just doesn't want to see it, and he compared you to BM as an incentive to not crap yourself.

The only woman in his life that he cares about is SD, and even then, his caring is only to make her happy. Instead of coming back with snippy responses, you need to come up with a plan to protect yourself and your child from your DH's selfish behaviors and lack of respect for you.

I love dogs's picture

It's really only on weeks that SD is here that I notice it. Otherwise, all is well. I'm going to bring up the hygiene issue with him AGAIN. SD has plenty of clothes here but refuses to wear them and I just went through her laundry- she didn't change her underwear for a week either because there were none in her hamper. SD is also getting horrible acne because she refuses to wash her face. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Yeah, but that's nearly 50% of your LIFE being unpleasant because your DH won't parent.

Then it will be 100% when the baby comes and he leaves you to be the actual parent while he is party-fun-time dad with his kids.

This won't magically get better. He is fine with how things are, and they will continue to be "fine" until you decide it is no longer "fine".

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

If my DH compared me in any way to BM warfare in my house would erupt! I do not harbor jealousy they were once married; it’s not anything like that.

It is that BM is disgusting, lazy, irresponsible, stupid, ugly, a whale, a druggie etc.

We’re both women but the comparison stops and ends there. I’m not perfect! Nobody is but stoicism and integrity are things I strive mightily for.

Some of you will balk at my statement because I loathe skid. I have every reason for loathing BM’s spawn.

 I take full responsibility for my moral obligations and my own life.

I love dogs's picture

I ripped him a new one for comparing me to that hussy and I guarantee it won't happen again!

futurobrillante99's picture

"BM didn't poop on the delivery table?! Well, why the hell aren't you two still together, if that's all it takes?"

Aniki's picture


Frankly, I hope you projectile liquid poop aaaaaaall over him in the delivery room. Asshat.

I love dogs's picture

Hahaha I needed this today! He thinks his "let princess have her way all the time" parenting style is effective until it isn't.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

He hasn't changed a bit. And if your SD did indeed wear the same underwear for a week and doesn't bathe, these bio parents are dancing dangerously close to neglect.

Livingoutloud's picture

If my DH told me about BMs pooping or not in a delivery, I’d not have sex with him ever again. Gross 

Livingoutloud's picture

A week of not changing underwear would result in awful smell. Does school say anything? It is neglectful. Doesn’t wash or change underwear?

I find it strange that you are so involved in what she takes for lunch or if DH buys her lunch but you seem ok with stench and a girl living with you for a week and being that filthy. If you are disengaged, it’s fine but why are you disengaged from very important things yet engaged in mundane crap like what she eats for lunch? It’s so strange 


--figureditout--'s picture

How old is SD again?  We went through a time with my SD when she refused to change her drawers. She lived with us FT.  It turned out that someone in the gym locker room was mocking her panties...calling them granny panties because they were briefs  SD was about 11 or 12.

ndc's picture

If your husband made as many stupid remarks to BM prior to SD's birth as he's making to you, it's no surprise he wasn't permitted in the delivery room.