DH texted BM
I told him to be non-confrontational and just ask when and how SD is getting to him today. She is with GBM at BM's since there isn't summer camp the week before school which starts the 20th.
He simply asked "when can I expect to get SD today"? He isn't expecting an answer because it is so straight forward that BM doesn't know how to respond now. She normally can call/ text at work so it's obvious she's ignoring him. Of course, he hasn't heard back and it's been almost an hour.
He doesn't want to involve the police and "traumatize" SD and he doesn't want to enforce the CO since the status quo has been 50/50 for almost 5 months and the CO hasn't been followed in years. BM has always given him extra time because it benefits her but now he upset her and she is back to using the kid as leverage. Also, DH thinks that he doesn't need a police report because "our courts don't work that way and you (me) read too much on the internet. Everyone else's situations are not mine," as he told me.
We are meeting with the attorney on Thursday and I'll bring all of the dates I have documented for extra time and there are a few incidents written down also. Not sure if those matter but DH claims this attorney can get the job done and at the very least, enforce the 50/50 and charge BM with contempt for denying visitation.
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Yuck... well you can only do
Yuck... well you can only do what your DH wants to move forward with. Probably the hardest part of being a step... we get no real say in anything.
Exactly. I'm meeting with the
Exactly. I'm meeting with the attorney with him on Thursday and organized all of the dates of extra time given this year and last if it helps.
He's totally right, everyone
He's totally right, everyone else's situations aren't his... However, it's proven no matter the situation. Documentation does more than no documentation. If BM can deny because there's not anything solid, she probably will...
It's not a happy go-lucky situation. The police aren't going to traumatize SD any more than BM is already by using her as a pawn.
I get not wanting to, but by not acting, he's giving her all the power. My cousin let his ex have all the power and she moved YESTERDAY about 3 states away with his kids. And since he gave her so much power, it's not likely that he's going to get to be a dad to his little girls anymore.
I respect his decisions, just tell him to be wary and not to put too much trust in either the court system (particularly without documentation) or the lawyer. Someone can make promises to Timbucktu and back, but that's no gurantee on the follow-through.
I'm curious what the lawyer
I'm curious what the lawyer will say. DH already doesn't trust the court and is why he isn't going to file a police report today. I have everything ready for the attorney so I hope it's enough. I feel bad for the kid but if BM chooses to ignore DH, she can explain to SD why she can't see him.
I understand being weary of
I understand being weary of the court system... But the fact of the matter is... When it comes to custody situations. That's what he's got. Without going through the court he's not likely to get more time with his kid. Which sucks, but faith in the court system or not, it's a hoop he's having to jump through. Better safe than sorry.
Well he just texted me to say
Well he just texted me to say that BM responded to him with "probably later today".... Whatever that means. I'm over it already and way too involved. I'll go with him to the attorney's office on Thursday and that's about it.
Probably doesn't sound like
Probably doesn't sound like much of acommitment... It's almost like she's going to try and use that against him later... Just tell him to be weary and speak to his attorney...
Also remind him the same thing I've reminded my DH a million times. Don't let your pride blind you from what's going on and leave any side weak in the eyes of what a court will see.
I'm done giving him advice
I'm done giving him advice today lol everything I say irritates him and he doesn't want to let BM "win" but isn't putting up a fight either. It's exhausting already.
Fair enough! Keep up updated!
Fair enough! Keep up updated!!!
I actually agree with not
I actually agree with not enforcing the CO, because then she'll just force it down his throat and no more "extra" time for a while. Have him document the withholding by texting, "BM, I'm here and it is Xpm and you aren't here with SD." If he called the police, it wouldn't traumatize SD because she wouldn't be there...
I agree that filing a simple
I agree that filing a simple report is harmless and the smallest thing they'll act on, if anything, is to call BM and give her the option to let SD come over.