You are here

DH not listed on SD's medical contacts

I love dogs's picture

From my post yesterday, BM asked me to take SD to her orthodonist appointment this afternoon and I forwarded her message to DH with no response. Well, BM is still CP on paper and has always taken SD to her appointments because they never fell on DH's timesharing (before the unofficial 50/50). Also, when we told SD we would take her to the appointments on our time, BM said no because she had to pay the copay.

DH called the office this morning to see if/ what the copay way so he had it on hand- SD said it was around $80 before so he wants to be prepared. Don't be surprised- he isn't a contact! BM and her boyfriend are, though! The receptionist said she'd have to call BM to get authorization to give DH any information. I'm not surprised at all.. How does she expect to coparent and expect us to make her life easier when she can't even treat DH like a parent or a HUMAN BEING?!

Comments

fakemommy's picture

If your husband has legal custody, he has a right to her medical records. I'd provide the CO to the doctor's office showing he does and let them know they don't need permission from BM, but they do need permission from him to give BM's bf access! 

I love dogs's picture

You're right but he wanted to have cash on hand in case there's a copay that's $80+. I wouldn't put it past BM to ask me/ him to take SD and not inform him about the expense. So he's still waiting for the receptionist to contact BM and "authorize" giving him information.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I'd just go in with the CO and be like "look, here this is." If they don't give him access it's a potential lawsuit (he does have legal right?)

I love dogs's picture

Yes he does! He's had to do this at her school before, also. It's just beyond ridiculous that BM tries to bypass him then thinks that he doesn't deserve to know wtf is going on with his own child..

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

BM periodically removes me from the school checkout permissions. I'm shocked she hasn't attempted to remove Dh tbh, but then she might have to actually show up to somethiing occasionally... And we all know that's not going to happen!!! But you can bring in the CO!!

He should know what's going on, but HC people honestly make no sense. He willingly wants to be invovled, isn't putting the kid in danger, she should be willing to work with him. But she's not because for some reason they see it as putting their own image on the line to allow the child's FATHER to actually have any form of power and knowledge when it comes to their child.

I love dogs's picture

That's the problem: they think that the kid(s) are only THEIR kid(s) and it's so twisted.

thinkthrice's picture

Happened to Chef all.the.time    He would make sure he was on the contact list then about a month or so into school he was mysteriously removed with Battleaxe Galactica (Gir's BM) and StepDaddyBigBucks taking his place as a contact.

Peridwen's picture

Not exactly if BM has legal custody also - at least according to our lawyer 6 years ago. BM can add whoever she wants to the medical records right up until BD sends in a written notice (and provides the legal documents if necessary) stating that no one other than BM and BD may have access. That is when the dual permission is required, if the CO is written to need both parents to agree.

DH was able to add me to SD13 & SS12's consent forms without asking permission from BM. Our laywer said that the only way the doctor's office will be in trouble is if BM requests my removal in writing and they don't do it. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Hey at least he wasn't blocked as being a a person who is not allowed to receive any information. That is fun to deal with... send court orders, copies of ID, birth certificates... 

It is a pain in the butt to deal with this crap. I don't understand BM's that just try to cut father's off at their knees when it comes to being involved. There are plenty of dads/moms out there that don't want to be in the kids lives. Why would someone try and cut out parents that do?!?!?

thinkthrice's picture

can crow about being a "single parent" and how it is soooooo tough to do anything when there's a "deadbeat dad" (TM) involved with "no interest in the children other than to make BM's life hard" (TM).  Also to try and reinforce to PASed skid(s) that "Dad doesn't care about you; he only cares about his NEW family so I'm removing him from your contact list" (TM)

lieutenant_dad's picture

At this point, if I were DH:

"BM, since you have decided to exclude me on the forms at the doctor's office, I cannot take SD to her appointment."

Likely, BM wants to get out of paying the co-pay if it's that expensive. She created the mess, let her fix it.

I love dogs's picture

The receptionist called back saying that our names were added to the "chart" and that the copay has already been paid..

Thumper's picture

Wait until BM's boyfriend OR her husband is listed as Father on documents.

I am very familiar.

 

I love dogs's picture

The boyfriend is listed as 'dad'. DH told the receptionist that that wasn't right so she had to call BM. BM will never get married because the women in her family have a weird thing about keeping the "family name" and she won't let being married affect her tax returns and Medicaid fraud.

thinkthrice's picture

1. Biodad should forever hold a candle for BM as an "old flame which shall never be replaced"

2. BM is allowed to move on before the relationship is over

3. BM is not to be held accountable for an infidelity

4. If BM hates biodad, then kids by default should also hate biodad.

I love dogs's picture

Yes that sounds pretty accurate. Also, GBM has been trying to talk to DH about SD going to a different high school next year because of the recent events of SD being reprimanded for passing notes and cheating on her homework. It MUST be the school's fault!

BM sure has no problem asking for favors or having her mother take care of her problems. She's 10 years older than me but is so emotionally stunted that some days I actually consider feeling bad for her.

thinkthrice's picture

is 47 going on 7.  She is totally enmeshed with HER BM, Battleaxe Galactica.  Even Chef's oldest bro from his dad's first marriage had to tell Battleaxe to stop trashing Chef when they met up at Walmart!  That's how scorched earth the PAS was with the Gir's clan.