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Well, thank you all, goodbye, good luck, and God love you.

I am confused's picture

I came here about three weeks ago to get a real live third-party perspective on what was customary behavior between BMs and BDs (I've learned new acronyms), and whether or not my GF (at the time) was out of line with her stbExH (BD) concerning their dealings with my FsKids.

I had read every book under the sun about step-parenting (the sandcastle book, Keys to Successful Step-fathering by I think Pickard, Children and divorce, Helping your child through divorce, etc., etc.) and I knew that I wasn't getting a real world look at what I was going to be facing.

Honestly, I desperately wanted to help my FDW co-parent (even took the Putting Kids First Co-Parenting Class) SD11 and SS9.

It's apparent to me now that it isn't going to be.

I'm certain she's going back to BD and we haven't spoken since the Sunday night "packing for camp" incident. We won't talk again. After taking advice from those of you who I consider to be honest and thoughtful I blocked her from my phone and email and have given up. I love her dearly but she obviously wasn't ready for what I wanted, marriage and a normal (if having a hateful BD and two scared and confused sKids is normal) life together.

At this point, I'm just hogging up good space because I'm no longer a FSD. That and it's not fair for me to try to GIVE advice when I haven't been in your shoes in over a year (since I broke up with the ex and she made sure I'll never again have contact with SD15).

I'm probably going to need to continue getting online somewhere, just some kind of "she screwed me around and I need some help" site though instead of a Step-parent specific site. Y'all have more important issues to discuss than my shitty relationship choices, you have KIDS.

I do want y'all to know that you REALLY helped me. There were lots of folks who made my day, helped me see clearly, and got me through three rough damned weeks. I also learned quite a bit about sparenting and God willing one day I'll get to sparent a good skid or two. I know I'll be back if that happens. At least I'll have a little understanding of the score when I get that chance.

Everybody try to be nice to one another. Nobody really hates a 5 year old and we're all here for help and understanding and a little venting. Y'all have a great little community here and if I ever get lucky enough to have any bios or skids I'll come back to brag.

Thanks so very much for everything. Always feel free to email me if you are in Texas and need anything. I'm at bobwheeler@mail.com

Adios for now.

See you when I get some skids,

Bob Wheeler

Comments

stormabruin's picture

"I believe you are wrong in thinking that you have no worth in this forum now that you no longer have a step child.. No one can take away the experience that you gained during the time that you actually had a step child. The lessons you learned would certainly help someone in here."
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I agree. I think you have a talent in being able to look beyond what's right in front of you to see the big picture. You have an open mind & you have shared valuable thoughts & advice. I do hope you will stick around. There seem to be few men here to share their thoughts. With so many women in this group, a man's POV is highly valuable here.

anabihibik's picture

You never know when you might find yourself in a situation where you are entertaining the step-notion again, speaking from experience. And, while I freely admit that after my first go-round with it, I must be insane for considering it again, I wonder if perhaps my first experience was to make me more open the the current and handle this better. If nothing else, we can be your date when you dine in. Wink

I am confused's picture

BTW, I got back on my Facebook. If you search for Bob Wheeler in Longview, Texas you can find me. the email is the same as the one I posted above, bobwheeler@mail.com