My 7-Year-Old lying BIO and his lying liar hole!
I'm getting so frustrated with my bio son. He's 7. He's adorable and everyone loves him blah blah blah so the manipulation is strong with this one. My DH calls him on out his bullshit often which I'm glad for and I do as well. My other 2 wouldn't dream of doing some of the things that BS7 tries.
He's gotten into this 'I forgot my homework folder' thing. AT 7! 1st grade.
He's dumb because he has a twin who gets the same homework so we make him do it no matter what but finally sat down and had a discussion with the teacher yesterday who wanted to take recess away for a day.
A day? No thanks.
We requested he not be allowed to recess for the rest of the week. If this was the first time, sure. But it's the 9th time so no. It's time for harsher punishments. She was surprised by that which makes me really sad for teachers. She was terrified to tell us he does anything wrong and used 'gentle' words while we foamed at the mouth about listening to his behavior during school.
He also will get a candy reward in class and then tell the teacher he didn't get one to get another one. He also took something off of another kid's desk and said he didn't know where it was but other kids saw him. (Once he found out other kids saw him - he was very alarmed) The teacher calls this 'telling stories' and we're telling the teacher, 'No. He's lying. Its completely unacceptable in all forms.' We requested she march him down the principal's office the moment it happens again.
At home, we have taken away electronic devices, grounded him from going outside and playing with his friends, and nothing phases him. The only thing he hates is being alone. He's a people person so he must always demand attention from others. It annoys me and my husband to no end. We tell him it's such an unattractive quality and he'll have no friends if he keeps it up. The problem is - everyone at school thinks he's hilarious. He's more popular with the 5th graders than my own 11-year-old son is so the 'no friends thing' doesn't mean much to him because he believes that he is adored.
I've told him if he gets caught lying again - he'll be grounded to his room only to come out for meals for any given night he lies. We've made him eat soap.
WHAT CAN I DO? I'm so frustrated. He doesn't care to lose things because his main goal in life is to make people laugh and love him which everyone falls for except his family (Me, DH, EXH, and his grandmother who helps with homework while I work). We all see right through him. He goes to church and loves it and we've explained how God commands us to tell the truth.
I do not want to raise a nightmare kid. What do you WISH your S/O's would do with skids to correct these issues? WE have always been strict, good parents. We don't spoil and the other two kids are very well behaved. I'd love some ideas.
- HungryEyes's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
And I promise, he's not
And I promise, he's not really forgetting his homework. The teacher is finding it shoved between bookshelves by his desk.
I don't have any advice for
I don't have any advice for you but I have a 7 year old daughter in the first grade and she is stunningly beautiful. She's also gifted. Smart and pretty. And If I take her grocery shopping, I get the "I want this. I want that. whine. whine. whine." I say to her that I'm not buying all that crap. No. No. NO AGAIN a little louder this time. And that's when well meaning strangers ALWAYS like to stop me and butt in. "Do you know how lucky you are to have such a beautiful daughter?" Blah blah blah. I'm trying to correct my daughter's behavior. I know she's pretty. I dont want a beautiful brat. Being beautiful is not the end all here. I want a well mannered respectful child. Does she get a pass for bad behavior because she is beautful? People seem to think so. Children are born manipulators. Of course they are going to try you. And they are going to try their teachers. It reminds me of that cat from Puss and Boots with the eyes he turns on. You can't let them get away with it just because they are adorable but I don't have any discipline tips for you as mine is kinda of an introvert.
keep fighting the good fight
He's definitely written
He's definitely written apology letters but I do like the idea of giving him extra work. So if he forgets his homework, he'll get an extra sheet to finish for each subject. That's a good idea.
This is what I would do and
This is what I would do and it may or not work for you but its a few things to think about. Pick them up from school before you leave the car line find out if he has his homework on him. If so yay! He can pick the after school snack or some lame treat like that, stop at a playground and give them ten minutes of free time there. Take him home sit him at the table and watch him do his homework. Have them both pack their bags, make lunches prepare for the next day etc. After that free time for a while or something. If he does not have his homework at pick up you take him in to the school and he gets it. Other people will be in there it will get old and embarrassing for him soon enough I would hope. No treat that day. And some form of work, copy phonics pages, or extra worksheets (free online). Be firm and consistant. Kids need rules and expectations in place. If he gets a chance to backslide he will but he needs to accept and understand rules are for everyone in class and everyone at home no exceptions. If he lies to your face, call him out on it quickly. Maybe his twin will be outside playing on a nice day and he stuck doing extra work for what he failed to do in school. Keep him in check at all times.
I will definitely talk about
I will definitely talk about sending him back into school for the homework if he doesn't have it. That's really good.
We often take away 'his bedtime snack' but I'm sure there's more we can do on this. Thanks!
And to curb the lying?
And to curb the lying? Ground him from talking. Hand him a pencil and a small notebook and for x amount of time anything he wants to say he has to write down.
There is no quick and easy punch line to get the attention he craves...
Alternately: STOP believing him.
About everything. If you ask him a question and he answers, double check the answer and tell him "I have to go see for myself because you have proven yourself to be a liar. I can't trust liars."
Kids typically cannot stand being called a liar.. so the reality is if he wants to not be known as "the liar" he has to prove he tells the truth. It should only take a few days (hopefully) of him being called a liar to his face, repeatedly to get the desired result.
I've somewhat taking the
I've somewhat taking the attitude of this but not as harsh as you mention although I DO like it. Of course all the websites say 'Don't ever call your precious angel a liar or their self esteem will be shattered.' So now everything I say 'you're a LIAR' I hear that in the back of my head...doesn't seem to stop me but...
So the web sites are saying
So the web sites are saying not to call a spade a spade? Am I supposed to call it a shovel instead?
He likely thinks of it as "fibs" see fibs is a cute fluffy word so fibbing cant be BAD..
LIAR. Now that word is harsh. However, I am a firm believer in if the shoes fits... lace that bitch right on up and wear it.
and I love the write down
and I love the write down everything you say!!! I'm doing that for sure!