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BM carnival games... step right up!

HowLongIsForever's picture

Oh BM.  She's like a one man carnival.  The questionable kind where all the stereotypes originate from.  

The mental gymnastics are astounding.  These mental gymnasts bend and flex in ways you never thought the human body capable of.  Their unnatural movements are so fluid and seem to come with such ease.  Creepy, impressive, fascinating all at the same time.

There's also the two faced lady.  She's super scary.  Or mindboggling.  Maybe a bit humorous.  Confusing.  Disturbing.  Cliche.  All of the above.

The fun house with its maze of mirrors, the shaky floors. Somewhat destabilizing and disorienting but surmountable.  An inconvenient let down at best.  We all know it's not really any fun and yet like idiots we walk through anyway.  Always stepping out disappointed in the predictable half-arsed "tricks."

She'll take you on a roller coaster ride.  A rickety, pathetic, painful one that you're not so sure was assembled correctly at the latest stop.  With its creaks and groans and uncomfortable seats, it jerks you around the twists and turns, you let out a half hearted scream at the top of the... wait that was a hill?  

The food is questionable, you're pretty sure the games are rigged, there's a lingering stench of deep fried sugary confections and vomit.  Once you're in, you're nickel and dimed to an empty wallet.  And there's always screaming kids running around acting like fools.

Can't we just stick to the guessing booths? C'mon BM, guess my age.  Or my weight.  One is higher and one is lower than your own - but not the ones you think (or wish).

I so want for her to have the drive, the ambition to leave the carnival life.  She should aim higher.  Like the circus.  I wish she'd run away and join the circus.  

She's a pretty good clown.  Just because it's more Pennywise than Bobo doesn't make her any less a clown than the next guy.

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Can I add DH's ex to the freak show portion?

Come meet the Eternal Teenager! Her brain and style stopped aging at 18 (even if the rest of her didn't). Watch in amazement as Eternal Teenager struggles with understanding that you have to work to make money to pay your bills! Listen as she whines and baby talks to manipulate people into giving in to her. Sit back in terror as she screeches like a hyena when she doesn't get her way!

Also, the tagline for the BM Carnival needs to be "Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes!" because that sums up the whole experience.

HowLongIsForever's picture

Eternal Teenager.  ET.  Ha!  

This just makes me want to bust out the acrylics and create a creepy carnival caricature of all the BMs.

Simpleton21's picture

LMAO, this perfectly describes stephell!!!! My BM has a horseface if you need a horse at the carnival ;)  

HowLongIsForever's picture

The one over here is routinely a horse's arse so maybe they can stand next to each other.  

Simpleton21's picture

Oh yes, the one I deal with looks like a horse and acts like it's arse so they should definitely be in an act together Wink

thinkthrice's picture

Girhippo.  Half Giraffe on the top, half hippopotamus on the bottom.

tankh21's picture

BM over here was an actual stripper and that is where my DH and her met. It was the stupidest mistake he ever made so he says! But I call BM a reptile or a harpy. She is half bird and half human garbage! If you need someone to take off their clothes for money she is it!! LMAO!!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Come see BioHo! Looks 60. Looks like a stack of tires. But she's dead sexy, baby!!!