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Bizarro BM

Hopper's picture

Submitted by Hopper on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 3:31pm

I am fairly new to this blog. I changed my username after the whole BM finding stepmom thing happened, because I got worried about our BM finding me. Anyhow, I have a strange story to report that made me feel a little sick inside but also laugh pretty hard. DH and I got the kids after a vacation with BM just last night. The kids came in, I was cooking dinner and the phone rang. Now, I have caller ID, but had just hung up with my mom and thought she was calling me right back, so I didn't even give it time to show the caller. It was BM. I never answer the phone when it's her, because she is very uncomfortable with me and doesn't usually acknowledge my existence. But this time I did.

She pretended to be one of sd's friends. She rasied her voice several octaves (it seemed) and just asked if SD was there. She did not identify herself or anything. I was about to serve dinner and the kids had just walked in, so I really was going to take a message (and maybe in the back of my mind I thought - is this BM?), so I said "may I ask who's calling?" and she sighed (like she'd been outed) and identified herself. I then, just said - oh hey, and told her sd was there and put sd on the phone.

Not really a traumatic experience in the least - just really bizarre and kind of funny. But yet another example of shady behavior. I know the whole step-family, second wife thing is awkward to say the least and is also really difficult. But when you call my home, just identify yourself - it's not like I would have even come close to attempting to block the conversation or anything weird. But be an adult, please, no matter how uncomfortable you are.

Comments

Chocoholic's picture

Submitted by Chocoholic on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 7:36pm

Why hide? I don't get that either.... Next time I would just "Oh hi BM" when she tries to hide who she is... call her out on it, it gets them everytime!

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 7:43pm

BF and I run a business. We have caller ID, so I don't answer the phone when BM calls. One day, a local number that I didn't recognize called the business. As BM lives in another county, I never would have imagined that it was her. I answered the phone, and she asked for BF. Her and I don't have any contact verbally, so I didn't recognize her voice...I didn't recognize the number...and since it is a business of course my first instinct is to ask "may I ask who's calling?" She said "This is his WIFE," in a really bitchy tone (which she wasn't his wife at the time - she has this sick thing where she still refers to him as her "hubby" and herself as his wife...a story for another day). I said OK and gave the phone to him.

You wouldn't BELIEVE the emails I got from her bit#%#ing me out for DARING to ask who she was. Apparently I had committed some cardinal sin or something. She said that I had no right to ask who she was and the next time she'd answer "No you may not, BITCH!" I told her that I was sorry that she felt that way, but I was only being courteous and professional and if she had a problem with me asking who she was when she called she'd just have to get over it or not call, because I ALWAYS ask if I don't recognize the voice and as she and I are not phone buddies, the probability is in favor of me not recognizing her! Eventually she realized how much of a bi$%# she was being and apologized.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Cruella's picture

Submitted by Cruella (not verified) on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 8:42pm

Has not called the children since the beginning of April. We have been home for several weekends and we will not be home this weekend. DH has Army drill and I am going out of town. The kids will be at his family's house. We decided instead of her deciding to call this weekend and not finding us home (keep in mind she NEVER tells us when or what times she is calling) we got the kids to call her. This is a big to do because she lives in another country. Normally we would just forward the calls. She would love to say we are interupting her phone visitation and really would love to demand we stay home every Saturday just to have control. This is the only time she calls. Usually Saturday late afternoon when we are sure NOT to be home. We starting forwarding the phone calls to DH cell and she has his number as well. She just wants to bitch she can't get a hold of the kids. We decided to be proactive and have the kids call HER. She wasn't home. SD left a message that we will not be home this weekend and she couldn't get a hold of HER. Oh well now she can't claim we don't communicate.

goingcrazy's picture

Submitted by goingcrazy on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 8:57pm

I have asked DH on many occassions what he was thinking when he decided to marry his ex? I mean our husbands obviously mean alot to us and we were attracted and impressed enough with them to not only marry them, but raise their kids. You would think they would have had more sense than to choose the women they had kids with!!! Oh well, I guess we just love them anyway Smile

Cruella's picture

Submitted by Cruella (not verified) on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 9:02pm

I Dont think my DH was thinking with his brain when he met his ex he was thinking with something else.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 9:26pm

I second that one!!! Yuck!

Dawn

Hopper's picture

Submitted by Hopper on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 10:06am

I certainly have to agree. But I guess difficult situations really can bring out the worst in people... or bring out the real person. I just cannot imagine why she would rather lose her dignity on a regular basis than just be a normal human and act in a manner she be be proud of and set an example for her daughter.

1wits_end's picture

Submitted by 1wits_end on Thu, 05/31/2007 - 10:01pm

That's funny....I haven't had to deal with BM calling our house yet because he won't give her the number....she only calls his cell phone...I assumeonce she gets the number, I will have several stories to tell. Lol

Sebbie's picture

Submitted by Sebbie on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 9:19am

NCP should have rights too! My DH's bm lets or gets ss to call our house to speak with his dad, then she jumps on the phone...sometimes we can just tell ss really just doesnt want to talk, ( watching cartoons or something) and then BAM there she is...mind you we havent seen ss in a year and half, yet BM still feels like she has a right to speak with DH whenever she wants....omg...usually he just hangs up on her. Then there are the times she actually calls herself, if I answer, she hangs up immm. So childish!!!!But we find humour in it, DH always says when I answer phone and it is a hang up, guess it was a telemarketer or the ex, either way what they got to sell we dont want!!!lol.

Hopper's picture

Submitted by Hopper on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 10:12am

That's funny! (of course not really all that funny when you think about it). And we definitely try to just find the humor in her antics. I have to say, though, that this is not one of those situations where I can say I am glad to see that other people have the same problem. Because it makes me really sad for these women, who lose sight of the bigger picture in their anger and resentment. Why would you ever do anything to give up your dignity in a situation like that? Once there is a break up, do you ever want the other person saying "good ridance"? Or don't we all secretly wish that every guy we've left behind at least thinks on some level that we are the ones that got away? Acting crazy and being juvenile really doesn't make the DHs or the stepmoms respect BMs - we get angry and then we laugh (when it doesn't really effect the kids). I would never want two people chuckling about me and my behavior. Horrible, right?!

Imustbcrazy's picture

Submitted by Imustbcrazy on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 1:28pm

after a particularly nasty "bout" with BM, DH was not answering his cell phone, she had called about 15 times before she decided to call the house phone- No caller ID- I answered ( I knew it was her, but HE DIDN'T want to talk to her) "Hello!" in my friendliest voice- "PUT MY HUSBAND ON THE PHONE" (strange when she gets like this too, she actually sounds like the devil himself, so imagine that line in the worst exorcist voice you could imagine) my reponse, again as sweet as pie "I am sorry, no one in this house is even married,so you must have the wrong number" CLICK... when she called back two seconds later, she was raving so loud and so out of control that I could not even understand her. I just told her "why don't you try calling back after you have calmed down, go take a valume or something". It was funny.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 3:56pm

LOVE IT

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

evilsm's picture

Submitted by evilsm on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 1:31pm

That was great!

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

Imustbcrazy's picture

Submitted by Imustbcrazy on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 1:59pm

And it felt good too. When she calmed down and called back I was sure to make light of it all and asked her if she was okay, or if she had been fitted for her straight jacket. Kinda stirred the pot all over, but she REALLY made me angry that time. This was back when things were still NASTY between all of us. So grateful that it has all settled down now and she and I can speak without the nasty insults. Life is much easier on DH and I when she is not on a rampage for whatever reason. I think you are all familiar with that stress though!

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.