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christmas surprise

hlr2019's picture

my husband and i were talking about how the holidays happen at his family's house since my family lives far away. he was telling me how they have christmas eve at his dads and christmas morning at his moms since they have been divorced for quite some time now. he then goes on to tell me that his ex (the bm) will be at christmas. so i told him i didnt want her there and so we talked to all the appropriate people and they were all ok with it. we tell the bm and she gets all upset. she should've known that things would change when he got together with someone new. he feels bad and i don't. she had her chance to play family and she cheated on him and was a terrible girfriend and woman. 


tog redux's picture

I really don't understand why people want to spend the holidays with their ex-husband's family.  Don't they have friends and family of their own? Or do they just feel entitled to go wherever "their" children are?

Kes's picture

Quite so - why would she want to spend Xmas with her ex inlaws?  Having said that, I remember that the first Xmas I was seeing DH, (although I hadn't moved in) he went and spent Xmas Day with his ex inlaws and NPD BM, for the sake of seeing his children on Xmas Day.  I don't think it went very well (probably because NPD knew he was seeing someone else) and he never did it again. 

advice.only2's picture

Exactly!  They are an ex for a reason, which means they no longer get priority in the ex families pecking order.  

Siemprematahari's picture

I'll never understand this mentality either and this is another reason why lines become blurred. If we are divorced or over I'm not going to revert back to old habits. Once it ends that's everything that came with it.

Harry's picture

Once divorce,  Co holidays are out.  You have to respect the new partner,  With out the EX there.   New partner has nothing to do with the ex 

ESMOD's picture

Nope... not going to a holiday event if the EX will be there.  My OSD hosted Tday at her home this year and last.. she invites us.. but also the EX.  So.. two years in a row.. we don't go.  This year we did prepare and eat with my 90 yo father.. he lives alone and would have had no one there save for his caregiver that was on duty that day.. so really a fairly reasonable excuse.

Sorry.. just have no inclination to share a meal in an intimate setting with his ex and her new online BF.