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Taking Something that Doesn't Belong to You is STEALING!

Hershei12's picture

I should have known better. Before summer I put a mason jar in my bedroom (out in the open) where I put change and bills in it calling it our "Vacation Fund." H knew about it because if I got extra change/bills I would comment that I needed to put it in the fund. Well, yesterday he asked if I could stop and get some cash for SD17 "Princess" to have to go to Chick Fil A in the am. I wasn't going to make a special trip just for princess and thought I would just take out of the vacation fund. I go to take out some cash this a.m. (And I know I had at least 15 or 20 in cash saved) and there is only two $1.00 bills. I became LIVID! Of course H is out of town. When he texted me asking if I got cash, I told him NO, that I was going to use the cash out of the fund but low and behold there isn't any! I told him when someone takes something that doesn't belong to them without asking that is STEALING! No other way to look at it. Of course "Princess" claims she didn't even know there was a jar with money it. So, that leaves SS18.

Its really sad that I can't even leave a savings jar out in the open in MY BEDROOM! I swear sometimes I HATE my SKIDS!

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Are you sure your DH might not have been grabbing some out of it for a morning coffee or something?  I know that teens are probably more likely... but did you ask your DH about it?

ntm's picture

I had a decorative cannister where I put my loose change every day. 

DH didn’t have two spare nickels to rub together, but he always managed to come up with 16 quarters to give the SDs lunch money on Wednesday mornings. I always thought it was weird that it was so hard to find quarters in my cannister when I needed them to park downtown. 

And then one day I found him rummaging through my change. He thought I was ridiculous for losing it over $4 a week. I did the math for him for all the school years and gave him the bill. 

Told him that CS should cover lunch money even on the mornings after he had them overnight and he needed to communicate that to BM. He didn’t want to be confrontational with her and I was putting him in the middle. 

It’s a miracle our marriage survived those years. 

Yep, I wouldn’t discount your DH in this, especially if he so easily suggested you use the jar money. 

Hershei12's picture

DH actually said that maybe I had been taking money out of it without realizing it. WOW

Frustrated4ever's picture

Stealing seems to be the norm over here as well.  I can't beleive that I actually sleep with my purse in my bedroom.  My parents kept a stash of cash in their room at all times and I would NEVER help myself- ever.  I guess you can't teach having a conscience to some kids.  

SteppedOut's picture

Yep. I also used to have to keep my purse in the bedroom. Didn't matter, formerSS just started going in there and stealing money. And, I was hiding my purse under the bed....

Yup. Don't miss that one bit.

ndc's picture

Putting aside the stealing, which is unacceptable, I would be disturbed by the fact that one or both of the skids have been going into your bedroom when you're not there and without your permission.  I would install a doorknob with a keyed lock to make sure that doesn't happen.  Your husband has a lot of nerve to suggest that you've taken the money yourself.  It's amazing the lengths parents will go to to "protect" their children when they've done something wrong.

Hershei12's picture

When we first moved in Princess would come into our room and take socks, makeup, makeup remover, shampoo or whatever else she wanted without asking. That drove me nuts! I would have never taken a qtip from my stempmom's room without asking. It would fly all over me that she would just walk in and take stuff like it belonged to her. Finally, she has stopped, however, she and I don't speak so that may be why! LOL

MoominMama's picture

This is part of the reason our bedroom is locked at all times. Thieves rarely change and they lie about it too. 

TrueNorth77's picture

Wow, I'm not sure how H can even walk with those ginormous balls of his to suggest "maybe you took money out of it and forgot". Really???? I swear if one of my skids ever steals from me, they will feel the wrath of a thousand fiery suns. I have a vacation savings bowl too, tucked up high on a shelf where short skids can't reach. I better keep an eye on it though.

I hope you get to the bottom of it and make sure whoever took it becomes very aware that it will not happen again...

Hershei12's picture

SS18 lies about everything even when caught red handed. I know the truth won't ever come out. I will just have to start hiding any stash! Sad Sad SAD!

MoominMama's picture

Indeed. There's nothing worse than not being able to trust those who live with you. 

This is why I want sticky fingers SS out of here ASAP, because after so many chances I will never trust him again. 

Ispofacto's picture

Buy a secret cam and catch the a-hole red handed.  Amazon has cams inside picture frames, and whatnot.

 

sunshinex's picture

My SD stole a toy from my 11 month old son's room and I LOST it. I was NOT happy with her going into his room let alone taking something that isn't hers. She keeps her room an absolute pigsty and destroys literally everything she owns (i'm talking drawing on furniture, ripping apart pillows, breaking toys purposely, etc.) so we have a rule that she's not allowed in our room or the baby's room. 

I took away priveledges for a week - no TV time, no tablet, nothing. I also gave her a long talk about why we don't steal and how we lose trust. My DH didn't even question me because I was so upset at the thought of her going through his things before he even gets to play with them. I'm trying to teach him how to take care of things and keep his room nice - i don't need her spoiling that for him before he even gets big enough to learn. 

thinkthrice's picture

leave any unattended money lying around.  I caught SD night raiding my purse and Chef's wallet when she was the tender age of EIGHT.  Her excuse?  "I thought you were sleeping."

Livingoutloud's picture

my exSD’s excuse for stealing was “everything should be communal in a household”. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Wow, I would be LIVID!!! I lived with an emotionally damaged, promiscuous pathological liar SD, and my DH and I would say, "She's a liar, but at least she doesn't STEAL." .

And it's ballsy that the thief took nearly ALL of the money.

You 're at a crucial fork in the road, Hon. If you don't go ballistic and teach both your H and his kids that this is unacceptable, you might as well lay down, grab a Sharpie, and write DOORMAT on your forehead.

It works in your favor that your H is out of town. Since you don't know which skid is to blame, punish both AND give your lazy enabling H a taste of of it, too:

  •  Remove the doors from each of their rooms. Easy to do, and hide the hinge pins.
  • Take some of their treasured possessions - gaming system, laptop, tablet, favorite shoes/hoodie/uniform, etc. Whatever hurts. Hide them offsite.
  • Empty the biggest joint account you have. Let DH freak out, and suggest he did it but forgot.
  • PUT A LOCKING DOORKNOB ON YOUR BEDROOM DOOR.     

Lace up your bi!ch boots and tell your H that this is how things will be until the criminal fesses up, because he's raising a THIEF.

 

 

Survivingstephell's picture

I might add that after the crimminal fesses up, just keep that other stuff in place.  New normal.  I don't know of any court that requires a door, just a bed.  

As for teaching DH, might have to hide some of his precious stuff too in addition to the money.  

amyburemt's picture

get one of those small personal safes, stick it in your closet and don't let anyone know the combination.