Hello I'm new here. I met my now husband 12 years ago. At the time he had one son and him and his ex had just split up when we met. We dated and I got pregnant from him after a few months. He left me and got back with his ex without saying anything I found out because he wouldn't answer my calls. I went through the pregnancy on my own. He never called us. When my son was 2 him and his ex broke up even though they had another son together who was a few months old. He then contacted me out of the blue wanting to finally be involved with my son. We went to court and he got only visitation rights. After a year we tried things out again and ended up getting back together, moved in together and got married. We then had 2 more children together. (His son is now 13, our son 11, his son 9, our daughter 6, our son 1) We've never stopped having problems. His BM is impossible to co parent with although she has a boyfriend and a baby from him. She's never liked me and has made it super hard on us. We have 50/50 custody of the boys. My problem is that my oldest stepson is turning out to be just like his mother and I cannot stand it. He is greedy, selfish, defiant, lies, and is manipulative. In our home he is the only one with his own bedroom, he only wants to wear named brand clothes and always wants the latest shoes. His mother receives child support but is always having my husband buy them everything they want/need, the backpacks for school, we pay school lunches, health insurance, shoes, clothes, we pay for sports, has us take them to school even on her days. He always tries to make smart comments at me and is disrespectful, if I raise my voice at him he tells his mom and she calls my husband to complain. I dread when it's time for them to come, I always think what problems are we going to have now. The 9 year old is NOW easier to talk to and still listens to what I tell him (he used to be the biggest brat). So when I approach my husband about the older ones behavior he gets super defensive and says I'm just picking on him and we get into a huge argument and won't talk for days in a row. I think to myself how much more of this can I take, then I say only 5 more years before he turns 18 but I don't want to waste my life waiting until he's 18, I think of leaving my husband but then i don't think it's fair for our children. My husband always tells me that I knew what I walked into when I married him because he already had 2 children and it hurts because I don't think that's a fair statement, he had 3 children (including my son) And I got back With him for my son. I now think I made a huge mistake and wonder what my life would have been like if I didn't get back with him. Idk if I should be strong and get a divorce or stick it out and countdown the years until his children move out. I need help.