At last some help!
Thank you sooo much- I thought I was on my own with this and going crazy! I have been reading since yesterday and at last feel that I am not alone and some kind of evil SM.
I am 40, have 3 bio kids (18, 13 and 9) who live with me and my partner. I also have a 15SS who lives here too and always has since his BM left him with my partner 5 yrs ago. She is horrible, had loads of affairs, left the boy with anyone to go partying and now has her own business but claims poverty so she doesn't have to pay any money to us. She demands when she sees him, never sticks to access and generally calls all the shots.
Anyway the bottom line is I despise SS. He is rude, lazy, selfish, immature and rules this house. My own 3 kids have been bbrought up to work hard at school, be respectful, help around the house and are disciplined nice kids who I am so proud of. This awful teen is ruining my life. He used to be ok and fit in well with my kids but basically he has been allowed to do whatever he wants by both Bio parents since he was 11 because 1) they feel guilty 2) it is easy and 3) he expects it now.
I feel sick every day because my partner actually admits that he will let him do what he wants and he will give him what he wants in order not to 'lose him to her'. He already has because she controls him already. I cook, clean, care, attend school and work full time to support this boy. I get NOTHING in return from him except disrespect which his father will not comment on ( he once said if I showed the boy respect I'd get some back WTF???).
My probs are;
-I hate being in this house when SS is here (he turns up whenever so my kids and I never have any routine in our lives.
-I hate BM and how she gets everything she wants, we always change plans to suit her.
- why won't my partner divorce her after 5 yrs?
- why won't he stick up for this family?
- why is SS allowed to be spoilt brat?
- why does he get away with everything?
-why does it wind me up so much. Partner tells me to let it go and that it is ME that is ruining this family? He sya I LET his ex ruin our relationship(surely thats him).
Oh I have sooo much more to say, but its so good just to make a start and what is eating away at me.
Thanks for listening. They make ME feel like I am the bad one because I can't accept this situatio-partner just keeps saying they are a package and BM is SS mum so I either accept it or leave.