You are here

3rd wheel...never ends

Happycamper's picture

So skids are visiting. As soon as they arrive I become the odd man out. DH and I are sitting on the couch when they arrive. That ends as soon as they walk in DH jumps up and goes and sits on the love seat with SD17 and SD15 goes and sits on his lap with her back to me facing the two of them. They sit and talk all afternoon and all I see is a back. I'm sure I'll get chastised later for not jumping in with them. No matter what age it won't stop.

Comments

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

Does that bother you that a 15 year girls still sits on her father lap? I'd have never done such as thing. Is this ok now days? My father would have put a stop to do if I had tried that and said it was not appropriate He'd hug me good bye, etc. but never hanging all over another adult like that.

bananaseedo's picture

Your dh is gross. DF put an end to sitting on daddy's lap when SD was like 9-10. HE is the problem. Must love the innaprorpriate behavior of his young sd's. So sorry hon, this sucks for you!!!

DaniAM73's picture

So never once did DH try and include you? I only ask because a few years ago I stayed in the bedroom with the door closed when ss's were over. I believe the previous visit they were giving me the cold shoulder.

After DH took them home he asked me why was I acting distant towards them. Never would ask them about being distant with me. SMH

kiki625's picture

While showing affection to your kids via hugs and kisses on head or cheek, this behavior is not age appropriate nor is it respectful towards you (sitting with her back to you). The only person that can put a stop to this is DH. I feel for you. I would absolutely ignore it and leave the room. If SD is doing this to get a reaction from you, you will cheat her of that.

0328sac's picture

Boy do I get the odd man out. I just isolate myself now. As for the lapsitting,I think its odd and seems childish...and to have her back to you, that's weird, rude, and disrespectful.

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

I read some where on here about a poster that had a similar problem. She took pictures of them on her cell phone just acting like nothing was wrong. All of a sudden it was a problem, especially when people saw it on FB! It worked.

FrenchPeas's picture

Lol I’ll never forget the Rock hugging Daddy’s head to her boobs exclaiming that “i know what you like, Daddyyyy” about her birthday gift to him of a bag of coffee. Uhhhh gross

New_to_this's picture

I can relate to feeling weird about the lap sitting. SD17 has always been overly cuddly with DH. It's her nature, and DH sometimes gets uncomfortable with it too, but he is from an overly affectionate family (imho). She is also prone to using the phrase "Dadddyyyy", which is super grating and annoying. But in my case she's not trying to undermine me, in fact, she tries to get cuddly with me too.

When she does get close and cuddly to DH, I get myself as far from the two of them as possible. They can look like love birds on the couch if they want to, but it's just gross to me.

Maxwell09's picture

The girls get satisfaction from you sitting there watching them exclude you. Why not get up and leave? Go run an errand or something. Take away their audience and they might just stop performing. Also agree that sitting on his lap is creepy for their age.

CANYOUHELP's picture

This is a bit perverted, and though our husbands love their DD's adoration, there is a point of sick and twisted.

notsobad's picture

I was having sushi by myself yesterday. I’d been out shopping and decided to treat myself.

There was a table with Dad, son aprox 10? and daughter aprox 8? They were eating but not really talking.

I sneezed and Dad said Bless you. I sad thank you. That was it, we looked at each other but there was no flirting or anything.
The daughter leapt out of her seat and jumped on Dadddddeeeeee.
He was obviously annoyed and told her to go back to her own seat. She went to the washroom instead. When she came back she again tried to sit with him, then stood behind him and hugged him.
She then looked at me and stuck out her tongue at me!

I burst out laughing. She turned bright red and slunk back to her seat. Dad missed the whole thing, her brother just shook his head.

I feel bad for any woman he dates.

lintini's picture

Wow... makes you wonder what the story is that created that behavior lol.

Sooooo gross sitting on daddies lap at 15 years old!! Dh needs to shut that down!

notsobad's picture

My guess is that it’s a new split. He was distracted and on his phone. They didn’t really talk but other than the incident I described the kids were well mannered and sat nicely.
It just didn’t seem like a normal situation, more like something new.

CLove's picture

I read a bit of your history. Yeah, 15 year old girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality, but daddees lap isnt the place to do it. DAddeee needs to stop that, you need to talk to him about that. Im so sorry that you feel left out. It sounds very lonely in your relationship.

My SO has 2 girls, and the yougnest occasionally gets very needy and will hang off dadee. He doesnt see anything wrong with it, kind of ignores it, but its starting to bother me.

CLove's picture

HI! Well, I JUST posted a few moments ago...on the main Blog Board.

But to sum it up - ALL is WELL, very much so!
- Winona has been living elsewhere - and wont tell anyone where. She claims she is going to college...maybe.
- We are going to purchase the house where we live and currently rent. At a VERY low low price (for our area), and my parents have offered to help with down payment.
- Munchkin is one of the top kids at her school, and exploring her art, and we have grown much closer. She had her first period - and I was so thrilled for her, and helped her through it. As a childless woman, that is an experience I NEVER thought would happen, but there you go!
- I have a new home office. With a fish tank. Biggrin

Hope all is well with you!!!

Happycamper's picture

When the skids are over it's definitely a lonely place. I get ignored. It sounds awful to say but we are so much closer when they aren't around. Life is so much better. Just this weekend we fought over the dinner I was making when the skids were there. I wanted to make a nice Sunday afternoon dinner. DH said skids would want it for lunch because they may not stay till dinner. It got to be an argument because I said we would basically do sandwiches or something for lunch because we were trying to have a meal to also watch football with. Bottom line, skids didn't even tell him they were leaving at 9 in the morning to go do other things. Should have known because they were busy Friday night and decided not to come over until Saturday "morning." Yeah that ended up being 4pm. We sat around all day waiting on them. He kept texting them and they would say they had to shower and would be right over and that never happened. I'm tired of planning our lives around what their schedules may or may not be. DH wines when they leave that they didn't stay very long so he does everything he can to accommodate them.

iamlosingit's picture

SS10 is all over DH. Always. Sitting on couch? Has to either be leaning on him, have his feet on him, have his head in his lap with a pillow, sit on his lap, etc. Standing? Always hanging on his arm or grabbing his hand and "pretending" to pull him around and using "baby talk". He didn't really do this when he was younger, not sure why the heck he's doing it now and it annoys the heck out of me. DH is always playing video games with him and spending a lot of 1 on 1 time with him, what the heck more does he want? It kind of creeps me out.

Happycamper's picture

Yeah even the soon to be 18year old one jumps into his arms and wraps her legs around his waste. Now get this. It's not even just at home. She had a school function this year and in the lobby in front of everyone she did this. You would think they were dating or she hadn't seen her dad in years and he'd just come back from war...which is certainly not the case! I almost feel embarrassed by it.