First of all, I want to say that since we don't get the skids EOW, DH and I are getting along SO much better! He takes them to dinner the same day every week. They are invited over but are always too busy. Well all of a sudden, DH gets a call from SD20. She has to come over because she is distraught missing her daddy. If you've followed me in the past, this girl treats me differently when he's not around, he things she's a perfect angel, she has the mini wife problem going, no job, etc. She only takes 2 classes and sits on her butt.
I'm just wondering if anyone feels the same way as me as a second wife or if this is normal. I've posted A LOT about stuff going on with DH and with skids. I've posted I can't say a word about skids without an argument. That still rings true. DH brought up something last night and I didn't agree with it. I just spoke my peace. Basically SD19 quit her job. She doesn't work much anyway but she just doesn't want to work. I just feel at that age, she should be doing something. Anyway, I wasn't mean.
Does anyone do Christmas apart from their spouse? I'm seriously thinking of suggesting this to my husband this year. We live in the same city with his entire family and his kids. He gets to see them whenever he wants. My family along with my kids live in other states. I missed Christmas with them for years until I finally said this makes me so sad. We need to compromise and do Xmas every other year with that family. Still do Xmas with the kids it just may not Xmas morning. Heck when we are here we don't see his kids Xmas morning anyway because they do stuff with BMs family.
I'm here to vent and ask how to cope with a situation. First of all, please don't say talk to DH. I haven't posted in awhile, but if you've ready anything that I've posted, you would know there is no talking to DH about the skids. He thinks that they are perfect and do no wrong. In a sense he's a Disney dad as he won't say anything to them that might hurt their feelings. So 19sd dropped out of college and wanted to come home. DH told her if she came back she would have to get a job. She does go to tech school like two days a week and lives with BM.
I get so bummed about my DH still having financial ties with his ex but not me! Everything at our house is in my name. I am totally stretched as both cars, house, all utilities, everything is in my name. I have had to do this because BM and DH didn’t pay their bills. He told me that she would always be behind and stuff when they were married and it supposedly drove him crazy. I found out after we were married that they had declared bankruptcy years ago together. Fast forward to now..BM refuses to refinance the house and get DH’s name off of it.
Another day...I just get so tired of the skids being on another level than my kids. Quick run down...My bio kids are 21 and 25. Skids are 19 and 16. As long as I've been with DH, he's considered my kids SO much older than his. Yes, my older one is, but not a ton of age difference between my younger and his older. Now, I've always noticed how him and BM treat their kids and they have always babied the skids...so much to the fact that they are immature for their ages. Always have been, for years! I can remember the day my DD turned 18. DH went on and on about how she's an adult now.
Once again the dreaded mother’s day Is coming up. I’m the mom that doesn’t get recognized. Every now and again mg kids will surprise me but it’s usually more not than so. This weekend is my daughter’s graduation so I know mother’s day Won’t be on her mind. I drove 9 hours to see her this weekend. DH starts rubbing it in in the car. I feel like he tries to get me upset with my kids. He goes on and on about how they probably won’t remember mother’s day Funny thing is, I’m sure DH hasn’t even gotten me a card either.
So if you've followed my story, I am disengaged for so many reasons. I can't seem to do or say anything right in the presence of the skids. DH always watches to critique me after I am around them. It is really horrible. Anyway, he picks them both up (ages 16 and 19) weekly and takes them to dinner. I may be around them once a month or every other month. As far as my Facebook, when we first got together, DH asked me to block BM and befriend the kids because BM would look at our business and if we went on a trip or did anything fun, she would start demanding more money.
SD had asked DH to move in with us this summer. I told him that was a bad idea.I told DH my feelings on everything. I have never been allowed to "parent" the skids when they are over...down to asking them to pick up a dish so I know this would be bad. SD19 does NOT like to work. She is a lazy child. He sort of "tabled" it for now. I literally haven't even been around SD19 until this weekend. We picked her up to hand out with us. It ended up being a disaster for me. First of all, we are hoping to move in the near future to another state.
I haven't posted in awhile well because....things have been going really great. Honestly, the step kiddos are growing up and not coming around much to reak havoc on the old marriage. DH takes them to dinner every week without me and that's ok with me. No fights, no nothing for us! The only thing we really would fight about is the stepkids!!! Well, after dinner this past week, DH tells me that SD19 wants to move in with us. What?!? Now if anyone has followed my blogs, this would not be good for my marriage. First of all, SD19 is not a go getter.