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"I Just Got Nothing to Say To Her When I See Her"

happy mom's picture

Were you all ever been in this situation when you see the exwife/biomom at times and you just got nothing to say to her! My daughter and stepson had a swim class together one summer and biomom would come when we don't have him to the classes and she and I would just sit there next to each other and have no conversation really, I just can't seem to talk to her or don't care to. I don't know why, I'm pretty much outgoing kinda person and even with strangers I can stir up something to say. One day she was talking about buying this brand name shirt for her son... and at the end I was thinking so what?? What does that have anything to do with anything? What do you guys do when you're in this kind of situation? It is weird.


Dawn-Moderator's picture

I usually only speak if I am spoken to by biomom! I can feel my heart pounding and my face flushing!! I don't like to interact with her at all unless I am forced to. I'm sorry but the woman isn't worth the time or effort! She is a lying manipulator!! She doesn't put her son first, she says bad things about me.........why would I want to talk to her.

I would sooner talk to a stranger too!!!!

I usually feel that whatever HER problem is, it isn't my problem!!


cornflower's picture

she will not come within sight of me unless she has to. The only thing she ever said to me was when we once dropped the kids off. She came to the car, and stared in the window, I was just turning around to acknowledge her, when she looked at me and exclaimed "WOW! You sure are UGLY!"

So I haven't really bothered trying to interact with her in any way since! We stay very clear of one another.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Wow, that sounds like a very nasty person!!

Biomom in my case doesn't usually say anything to my face. She is intimidated by me(that is what she told my stepson's therapist). Even though she out weighs me by about 80 pounds.


happy mom's picture

Oh my gosh, she is so mean. I'm the type that would have slapped her across the face if she said that to me. You are so strong about holding yourself back...I give you credit...

SMIT's picture

Oh, Happy Mom, it's OK. You don't have to have in depth coversations wtih your stepkids' mother. It's nice to make an effort, but you're probably never going to be best friends with that woman... not that you're interested in that. You mentioned being able to whip up something to say, even to strangers. It's different with strangers--you have no baggage regarding them and you want to know about them. You can't help what you know about biomom and how it has colored your view of her and, in turn, made you less than enthusiastic about talking to her.

I don't think it's ever loads of fun to talk to the biomom. In my case, she's just loud and interrupts a lot, even though we have an OK relationship. I don't know if she's nervous around me or is just one of those people who's always thinking more about what she's going to say next than listening to what I (or anybody else) am saying. I've been around her mom briefly twice--most recently yesterday when Grandma picked up my SS at our house--and noticed that she's the same way, so maybe biomom comes by it honestly! Wink

When my SS's mommy picks him up or we drop SS off, she's very chatty. I think of my girlfriend joking about her husband using the "Jedi mind trick" of thinking "Stop talking and get away from me," on people he's sick of. So, I stand there with a smile and think, "Stop talking and get away from us!" Whether it works, or not, I get a kick out of knowing I did it. Awful? Probably. Keeping me sane? Definitely! Wink

Hang in there! You're doing all right.

happy mom's picture

That's funny...she plans what she's going to tell you. She's probably nervous around you. It's an awkward feeling when you both are next to each other and have nothing to say. Thanks for your comment. I don't feel a bit strange.