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Okay, I may be jealous...a new feeling for me.

hangingbyathread6's picture

So per my blog from this morning, I have spent the ENTIRE afternoon stewing about this bitch who emailed my husband and her comments about how happy she is for him and hopefully she will see him more. I guess this means I'm jealous? Or just angry? Or what? I don't know. It pisses me off. I was cheated on by my exH and maybe it's just bringing up unresolved feelings about it, but the fact that this bitch is emailing a married man (even if they did date YEARS ago) and acting like "oh it would be so great to see you more often" when it's not like they maintained any SEMBLENCE of a friendship after they broke up.

Women like this piss me off. He's married. You have no business emailing a married man that you do not have a friendship with. I have a best friend. Been like an older brother to me since I was 12. Our mothers were BFF's, our children are good friends, his father was like a father to me. I text him, or call him, but I see that as completely different. And his wife is aware of me texting him, I text her also, we all hang out together and there are times just him and I do. I'm friends with his wife. He is friends with my DH. He'd do anything for me and me for him. We really are like siblings. And I'm close to his sisters also. This woman has no relationship with my DH other than at one time they had an intimate relationship and haven't spoken really since.

I'm not really threatened, as I know my DH is not remotely interested and honestly is one of the most loyal men I know. He too was cheated on by his exW so I have no thoughts that he would do that to me. And yet this email business is really bothering me. I haven't said anything to my DH about it. I don't know that I should. What do you all think I should do? Discuss this with him? Or would that just make it seem like I doubt him and maybe overreacting? UGH!

Comments

No saint's picture

Now, with facebook and social media, it's easy to catch up with old friends and flames. I would compare the email your DH received to a FB private message; my SO gets them and I get them as well. As long as he doesn't keep texting back not meets with old flames, I'm ok with an occasional text, as I believe FB and others made this kind of contact seem less inappropriate. Not saying I like it, when SO gets that kind of message, but I dont' lose sleep over it or feel threatened.

step off already's picture

My dh had an ex try this a few times. I asked him for his phone and sent her a wicked evil text "just because you are lonely and unhappy with your husband, please don't try and make yourself feel better by trying to play nice with me. We aren't friends and we haven't been for a long time. Take your putty party elsewhere". O

new to this's picture

I would probably say something to my DH if I were you. It's obvious that he is not interested in her as he showed you the email to begin with. Men are so naive, I would tell him you think she is fishing and if she emails again he needs to make sure he tells her he is happily married. He probably didn't even think about that was her intentions but like some of the other posters have said, I've fished and been fished. Women do that. My SD16 BM fished her high school sweetheart out if his 20 something year marriage and is married to him now. Your DH just needs to nip this in the bud.

tryingmom's picture

I think of it as poaching, not fishing: That "poaching" is a sign of poor character and bad morals. Weak-minded people try to take what others have. Strong people pave their own way.

Danearl1's picture

A very similar thing happened with me not too long ago. Without going into the whole scenario when I found out that a particular woman was messaging and calling ‘MY MAN’ I explained to SO that I wasn’t happy about it and that I would like it to stop as this woman isn’t a friend only an associate and she had just recently broken up with her better half and is pouring her heart out on a shoulder that I should be crying on not her. Anyhow after I damaged my vocal chords, SO called her and basically told her that this ‘friendship’ is affecting his relationship and his relationship with me is too important to jeopardise it over this ‘friendship’.
If you are not happy for your DH to have any association with her than he needs to make it clear to her otherwise she will keep emailing etc and if he is anything like my SO he won’t do or say anything to her until he sees you hurt and upset over it. He doesn’t have to be rude to her about it but he does need to be firm and he does need to put a stop to it.

hangingbyathread6's picture

Thanks everybody. It has been on my mind all day long....and still is.

As Stepped.in.it said, the fact that we now live next to her mother and she made a point of saying "it seems weird to see lights on in that big, huge house" and "maybe we'll get to see each other more now" makes me feel like she has been checking the house, and will use being right next door as an excuse to stop by. She has never bothered me all this time, because like I said, she is irrelevant, however now that she after all this time has reached out to my husband through their work email makes me think she's doing exactly what has been said...fishing.

Throughout the day today it crossed my mind numerous times to send her an email from my DH's email saying we are happily married and no one cares of you are happy for US or not and that he doesn't care to see you more often. Just tonight as I was climbing in to bed I thought as I looked out the window....want to see more of him hunh...maybe I'll have to accidentally leave the curtain open in our bedroom while your there and let you see just how happy I make DH. Catty...yes. Bitchy...yes. But it crossed my mind none the less.

I didn't get to talk to my DH about it at all today as I got home from work, fed the kids, no off to my OSS15's hockey game. DH had to leave with three minutes left to get to work, and I stayed to take SS home. I'll see him tomorrow morning. I unexpectedly got the morning off from work so I'll have some time...although DH was hinting at morning sex so maybe there won't be much talking