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Tale of SS and the magical floating dollar bills

halo1998's picture

I have seen that my SS is not the only skid to pick up the lovely and lucrative habit of ...stealing.  

Ah yes.. stealing andage old profession..and my SS is no different.

It all started years ago when SS was about 8 or 9.  My memory is shot today so I can't remember how old SS was at the time. \

All of our kids got money from the grandparents for birthday's etc.  There are various types with money, those that save every dime, those that spend every dime, those that spend every dime and then some and then those in the middle, save a little spend a little.

Our kids are no different.

DS - saves every dime he gets.  In fact I think he still has the first dime he is so tight with money.

DD- eh spends some, save some now..but gravitates towards spending more

SS - spends every dime and then some. (Chip off the old beaver block this one is)

SD - spends every dime.  

So, BS had gotten money for his birthday.  We didn't think anything of it..and he kept it in a jar on his dresser.  About month later we notice SS suddenly has money.  Go the store...SS I'm going to buy some candy toy whatever...Interesting.  I mention to DH, where did SS get money from.  DH is like what money.  Give Dh the rundown.  Ask SS, Mommy gave it to me.  MMMkkkk..Beaver does not part with money unless its for her so this is interesting. We let it go...

A few weeks go buy and SS wants to buy a toy.  DH asks if he has money.  Oh yes, he has 7 dollars.  Really SS where did you get the money??  Uhm uh..uhm..oh..uh..Mommy??  (the stammering is SS trying to figure out a lie..the kid is not quick).  DH...try again I don't think Mommy gave you any money.  SS...uhm...well I found it on the floor in the hallway.  DH: did the money get in the hallway.  SS:  It floated in was just floating around.

at this point SD who was about 4 maybe came running.and...says.


NUH UH SS you went into DS's room and took it.  I saw you.  

SS..NO SD it was floating in the hallway.  It's mine.

DH:  give me the money.  WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY?  It didn't magically float around in the hallway like the f'n feather in Forest Gump.

SS:  looking at his shoes (this is his go to when he is caught)..I might have found it DS's room.

**Que DH turning three shades of purple and steam coming out of his ears***

Sit on the couch SS..DO NOT MOVE.

DH then proceeded to call the police non emergency hotline.  He requested that an officer come out to the house.  

SS at this point is now bawling, yelling I didn't steal it.  I didn't steal it.

I swear they sent the biggerst officer they could find to our house.  The guy had to be 6 foot 4 if he was an inch and looked like brick wall. 

Office brick wall then tells SS he can and maybe charged with theft. Doesn't matter that it is his step brother if we chose they can press charges.  At that point he will be handcuffed and taken to juvenille detention.  SS could say good bye to the  $300 nike shoes he was wearing because the boys there will be happy take them from him.

He turns to DH and asks, so shall we be taking SS today.  

DH declines but tells SS next time I WILL MOST CERTAINLY have them arrest you.  I will not tolerate stealing.


Of course poor widdle SS went crying to Beaver and we got a 2 page long missive from on how we have scarred he prescious iddle widdle baby poor.  He didn't steal the was floating in the hallway.  Beaver complained to SS's therapist that poor fragile misunderstood SS was tramatized.  Therapist..said good.  Lets hope he learned his lesson stealing.  Better to nip it in the bud now than deal with it later.  Beaver did not like this answer.

So I guess if you look really hard you too can find some of those magical floating dollar bills.


Sidenote:  We asked DS about his money.  We had him count his money...and guess what he was $7 short of what he had before SS got there this particular week.  Overall, however, he was short $30.  DS said he knew he was missing money, but he just figured he misplaced it even though couldn't remember moving it.

This is also what started the backpack and pocket inspections of SS before leaving to go anywhere.  When SS complained...DH act like a criminal and I will treat you like one. 



tog redux's picture

Missives - we called them "manifestos".  BM here would send 2 pagers too, every time SS complained that DH dared to, you know, be a father to him.

I will say, for all his faults, my SS20 is not a thief and was a good saver. 


Harry's picture

Do SS was rewarded!  He spent the money and nothing really bad happen to him.  Another product of bad parenting.

Another DH problem.  At eight or nine. SS should of been given jobs around the house where he would get paid like a $1  an hour until he earned enough to pay back your DS.  This would be above normal thing he had to do. But I bet he did not have any normal jobs around the house.   Except be good.  What he failed at 

halo1998's picture

at our house, I just didn't mention them.  Besides having to give the money back that we found..he also had to work off the money that he stole earlier.  Took awhile to pay it back.  Now at Beaver's he never ever ever gets in trouble. Hence the reason SS who is now 18....has not set foot in our house in over year. (we took his car, phone and well pretty much everything when he was caught with drugs in our house)  DH may be a lot of things but he does not let his kids get away with much.

Iamwoman's picture

May I visit your magical hallway of floating money? I could use some of that! Lol

Exjuliemccoy's picture

My DH is retired LE, and he played Officer Brick Wall many times. He even had a spiel he called The Gutter Speech for scaring kids straight.

If there's a next time, I recommend the 'ole "put 'em in the back of the squad car for a while" treatment. It works especially well in Summer. DH would be in the home with the parent(s), listening/comiserating/eating pie, while Problem Child got to swelter in the caged back seat. 

BethAnne's picture

My thought is though if the 9/10/11/12... year old is stupid enough to steal again from their sibling/parent do parents follow through and press charges the second or third time? Or is this just a classic case of a threat that a lot of parents would never follow through on? Seems like a high stakes game to me. I'm not sure I would be willing to play it. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Certainly parents shouldn't be relying on cops to parent their children for them. And they shouldn't make threats they don't plan to follow through on. It's a card that must be played very carefully, because honestly, in my state nothing would happen to the kid if the parent did try to file charges.

If the skids steals again, punishment needs to be severe, but it should depend on what the kid's particular currency is.

thinkthrice's picture

standing up clapping wildly for your DH!!!! I caught the animal torturer (SD   8) going through my purse and Chef's wallet, using Pumpkinhead as a lookout and not a very good one as he was clearly focused on seeing what cash SD could find.  When I sidled up, their eyes got as big as saucers and guilt was written all over their faces.

Had I woke up their father, he would say I'm trying to make his "angels" look bad.

I said to Animal Torturer:  " its not right to go through other people's things without their permission."

Her response was "I thought you were sleeping."

Before that I caught her lying many times and rifling through my dresser drawers.