The case of the missing toddler jogging suit..A B* Chronical
In the beginning there there was only one set of clothes to clothe the skids. Bags would be packed and would be with skids as they pass back and forth. Alas, DH realized he would only receive the clothes that were too small, stained or just plain fugggglly. He began to buy his own clothes and finally told the Beaver...keep the bag I have my own clothes.
Now, this made the Beaver angry..how DARE Dh have clothes for his own kids. She is the MOOOTTTTHHHHER she will buy their clothes. This was said to DH in an email. DH..whatever...hit the ignore button. He would take the clothes the kids wore when they arrived, wash them and they would wear them back home. Narry a sock of his left his house. This was a PITA since they switched houses every other day. (That had to be the most stupid and confusing schedule to ever be. Even NASA couldn't keep track that schedule)
A few years later when SD was about 3 or 4 it was Christmas time. The skids came to our house on December 23rd for DH's regularly schedule day. It was his year for Christmas Eve so they were there for two whole days. Angels Rejoiced..During all the hub bub over Christmas we forgot to wash the $5.00 joggers and shirt from wallworld that Beaver sent SD in. It was a mess when SD arrive on the 23rd. Covered in what I could only determine was syrup which in turn had picked up every single fiber of dog hair she came in contact with.
Being normal humans we put in SD in a $5.00 wallworld suit that we didn't really care about to send her back to her moms at 7 a.m. on Christmas morning. You know instead of sending her back naked or in a jogging suit covered in enough hair she would look like a tiny dog. End of Story right.........
Hahahahahahahahahah...NO of course not. Beavermobile arrives, skids sent out, get in car, we close the door. 2 minutes later, doorbell rings (oh great dog is not going ape sh*t cause the door bell rang). DH opens the door and SS who is about 8 or 9 says Mommy wants SD jogging suit back. DH, its in the wash I will have it for her when I pick you up tomorrow. SS ok...skips off to the car. 2 minutes later, door bell rings again (dog is really off her rocker now)..its SS again. Mommy has to have the track suit she doesn't have anything else for SD to wear. Dh (visiably annoyed that SS is back doing Beavers bidding): Seriously, yes she does have other clothes and its the wash and I will bring it tomorrow. SS: ok
We are thinking this is now over...oh no......not yet.
Doorbell rings again...I open the door this time. I find the Beaver standing in the doorway.
Halo: Can I help you? (in my head..can I help you find a bus to stand in front of?)
Beaver: Give me SD's track suit NOW.
Halo: No it's in the wash. I'm not going to go downstairs and dig through laundry to find it. You will get it tomorrow.
Beaver: Give it to me now.
Halo: NO, get off my porch and go home before I call the cops. For the future..DO NOT send SS to do your bidding.
With that I slammed the door in her face.
She rang the doorbell again and we just refused to answer. She finally left.
True to his word. DH had the wallyworld jogging suit, clean, the next day for her when he picked up the kids.
Funny...we never saw our wallyworld track suit again. It would be just one of the many items that disappeared in the black hole of the beaver damn.