UPDATE: I give up
SO I TRIED giving SD a taste of her own medicine, ignored her when she asked me a question. I am sad and disappointed to say that she didn't even notice. I broke down and spoke to DH tonight about what had happened today and to my surprise he didn't get upset. NO argument... YAY!!!!
I told him how I spoke to her... AGAIN... and how she just ignored me. He said that he understand how difficult that may be and couldn't imagine how that would feel. I told him that it hurts. I try and I try but it hurts to know that she is doing nothing to work it out.
I also realized something today, I don't think she thinks of me as another mom. She calls me mom because I am married to her father. I seriously doubt she wants to have a relationship with me. The more and more I try the more I realize that she MAY NOT want to have the relationship. I don't know if its because she misses BM, she hasn't seen BM since Nov 2011, or she truly doesn't want a relationship.
I want to disengage but I don't know how. I can't even leave my job on time. I like helping people, I am a social worker for homeless people at a shelter, I call into to work on the weekends that I have off and periodically during my time off because I want to make sure that my clients are doing well in the shelter. DH gets upset at times because I call before going to bed to ensure that all is well at work. I will continue to try, but I feel that I am giving up... SOON!