Help with teenage daughters
I need help! I don’t know what to do with my teenage daughters. They are constantly late to school. The 15 year old been over 50 times and the 13 year old 39 times. Me and wife tried talking to them, reward systems, and even taking away cellphones. Nothing works. We tried talking to the school. Nothing came from that because they will refuse to show up detention. The 15 year old is failing every class and is in jeopardy of staying back a year. It seems as if they don’t care. My wife who is their biological mother receives the backlash when we enforce punishment and she is getting drained and tired. Their bio father was never involved and just recently started to call every once in a while. I don’t know what to do. It’s only been a year so I haven’t built enough collateral in my relationship with them to really take a strong disciplinary role. I want to let my wife rest and I be the enforcer if certain rules but I’m afraid they will shut me out. Right now I’m smiling and bitting my tongue. Me and wife always discuss punishments and and concerns privately but she is the the one who enforces when we present it to them. I love them and see disrespectful and disruptive behavior but I feel helpless. Do anybody else feel this way? My wife said that I should be more vocal and more authoritative but I don’t know if it’s time yet. Should I be more vocal and authoritative?
Also side note this is the biggest issue we have with them. And they have been respectful to me and been open to me in some areas of their lives
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No, they aren't your kids
No, they aren't your kids (right? I am assuming since you are asking on a step parent forum). Your job is to be back up to you wife.
What are the punnishments being given? It would help with direction if we knew what has already been attempted!
We have taken away phones.
We have taken away phones. Still have not returned them back due to continued tardiness. No extracurricular activities. The reason why they are so late is because they wake up late and spend an absurd amount of time doing their hair. We have taken hair products but they got to school even later. We talked to the principal and guidance counselor multiple times throughout the year. They talked to them threatened them and even gave detention. That had no impact. Their biological father talked to them but that had no effect due to their strained relationship. We tried incentives to motivate them to be on time but that only worked for a week. We are just tired. The oldest is staying back a grade due to this issue. I had a conversation with her to see what’s the underlying issue and she expressed that she don’t need school and therefore she don’t take it seriously. I’m at my wits end!
Your wife needs to get her
Your wife needs to get her kids in line - insome states, parents can be put in jail for their kid's excessive truancy. If they've always been respectful to you and may listen, maybe try having a conversation with them. It doesn't sound like that will work, though. The chips may just have to fall where they will.
In My Skid's Case
YSS16 no doubt has learned to forge the Girhippo's signature making the unexcused absence magically turn into an excused one.
Doors come off hinges and buy a boat horn. Problem solved.
They will blast out of bed so fast once you lay on that horn.
What ever the punishment your DW
Is imposing is not working. I can not see a teenage, with there cell phone taken away does not have an effect. All cell phone and internet, video games or going out with friends, should be taken away until you get three weeks of no lates at school. If they are late then three more weeks are added on.
Your DW has obviously not
Your DW has obviously not found their currency. Took a while, but clothes were my SD's currency. Take away the jeans and tees - A weeks worth of blouses and skirts.