DH co-signing mtg for skid behind my back - vent
After the Christmas sh!t storm, skid returned a couple days later because DH said we all should sit down and talk. I told DH that I’m concerned that he will avoid talking and say nothing. Yup I was right. By the end of it DH just says “well I guess we will just hit the reset button and do better”. I could feel my face turn red with anger but I wasn’t about to let skid see that there is a great big divide between me and DH. All skid said is he frustrated that he doesn’t have his own place and he doesn’t have his dog. Like that gives you a license to be an a$$hole.
I went out to the garage and DH followed. I was mad, I turned and looked at DH and he was in tears. I was sucker! I felt terrible for him, he apologized for his son, broke down and told me he thinks something is wrong with him and needs my understanding more than ever right now. I did tell him I am never hosting Christmas again with his son here because he always does something to wreck it.
Skid has been much better since, but I am still mad.
Now skid24 thinks he should by his own place so it’s not an issue to have his dog since lots of rental don’t allow big dogs.
DH jumps right on that train, thinks that’s a great idea. Skid doesn’t have 2 nickels to his name and would need to save for down payment. The forced savings/rent that we charge him is $250 per pay cheque, which once the agreed upon 6 months is done there will be $3k which is enough for first month rent and damage deposit but not the $10k he needs for a down payment plus he would need more for other expenses. So by all the talk between the 2 of them it sounds like he will be here longer, especially since the place he has in mind won’t be built for 9 months from now. But no one asked me if that’s ok. The signed agreement says it may be extended upon agreement of all the parties. I’m one of the parties!
DH has been very tight lipped about anything to do with skid buying a place, doesn’t even mention skid wants to look at a few more resale homes, I just over hear skid tell his GF. DH didn’t even tell me he was working on skid’s mortgage approval until he asked me for skid’s tax stuff for the last 3 years, then I asked DH and he confirmed. That was a week ago and I have heard nothing, the approval would have come back by now.
In light of hearing nothing it made me very suspicious. So i snooped. Found an email sent by DH attaching an employment letter, a letter from DH’s employer. The thread had the mortgage broker confirming approval and needed some more paperwork to make official. So this means DH is going to co-sign the mortgage. I am so effing mad. I already told him that we or him will not co-sign for skid. Too much risk. If he was a responsible adult I would consider but he is not. He will default in the first year or even the first 6months.
DH is away on business returning late tonight. I’m mad because he is stupid for considering this but even more mad that he was going to hide it from me and just do it.
I have told him over and over again don’t lie to me either outright or by omission because I will never be able to trust you. He lies about so much when it comes to skid, I’m just tired of it and pissed off.