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This is as petty as it gets, please bear with me.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I realize that this is extremely petty. It's a vent, okay, just a vent.

I have two small parrots. They're Green Cheek Conures. Look em up if you don't know what they are. They're small parrots, but very intelligent.

I used to have large parrots. A Macaw and a couple of African Greys. They were all older birds that I had been given, with the exception of my adolescent and very ill tempered Macaw. As my family grew, I gave my birds to homes where they could be happy and my children would be safe. My love for parrots remained.

A friend of mine recently got a large Cockatoo (her second one, she already had one). The new one is temperamental and was constantly harassing her very sweet conures, so she asked me if I would like to have them. I was elated and accepted the gift.

These birds aren't babies. They're adults. They have never lived in a home with children, but they're pretty amiable. They're just having a bit of an adjustment period. They don't bite or scream, they're just timid when it comes to children.

My own children have been raised around parrots and understand that they kind of do their own thing, and a relationship with them takes time. They are respectful of my birds, and when the birds are out on their playstand or on my desk, my kids wait for the birds to initiate interaction to engage them.

One of my stepdaughters is CONSTANTLY trying to engage my birds despite repeated requests to LEAVE THEM ALONE. She is pushy, and it makes them nervous. She is constantly encroaching into their space on purpose, or bothering them. She's 11. It is irritating to me that she refuses to just leave them alone and let them warm up to her. She argues with me every time I ask her not to bother them. "I read up that giving them treats will earn their trust." Oh really? I read up that leaving them the hell alone and letting them acclimate to the activity level in our household slowly would be best, and I have had parrots for 20 years, longer than you've been alive, so I guess I would know, but then again, you, at 11, DO know how to read, so there's a chance you know much more about it than I do. Here's a fun idea, why don't you go play with your own fucking pet for a while? You remember, the one that I went to bat for you to have, the one I take care of every day so you can have something of your own to love and nurture, the one I convinced your dad to allow you to have? That one. Yeah, maybe she would like some attention. I realize it's not as fun as prodding my birds, but it would sure be nice if you gave us all a break.

I would never say this to her. It's just a bitch session. Thanks for listening.

Comments

Rose.Colored.Glasses's picture

^Yup let the bird bite the fuck out of her finger...that'll learn 'er. lol

justthegirlfriend13's picture

A few things jumped out at me when reading your post. BTW, I LOVE birds too! Smile Would love to have my own, but I know I don't have enough time to devote so instead I feed every single kind in my backyard I can lol

1) Where is this childs father? Doesn't he step in and correct her if she is arguing with you? If not, make him do it.

Is this child with you only for visitation or does she live there? If she is only there for visitation and can't follow rules, she doesn't get to come back until she learns to!

2) There should certainly be consequences for not only not listening but arguing with an adult. The birds belong to you and she needs to listen not only as an authority figure, but because they are your pets!

3) Why does she have her own animal if she isn't taking care of it? Whatever pet it is would be given away if she isn't responsible enough to care for it.

I don't think you are being petty at all! I am an animal lover too...but even besides the point this is more importantly about this child listening and obeying orders as well as discipline when she doesn't listen. I get angry myself when kids don't listen, so if it was me, I would probably wind up getting in her face and very sternly in a low yelling voice to get the F away from my birds when I tell you to! LOL THEN deal with her father!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

1) DH works outside the home, and I work from home, so during the day when the birds are super active, he isn't here. He corrects her when she is home. The thing is, I KNOW she knows better than to do this crap, because she rarely does it when Dad is here. I'm just going to start handing her her ass every single time until she stops. I've had it.

2) You're right. I'm going to start giving her an unpleasant chore when she does this. It's the only consequence that works with her. She lives her full time. Rarely sees her mother. It's maddening.

3) The pet she doesn't take care of is a rat. We have a colony of three rats, one is hers, one is shared by two of my other daughters (one bio and one step, and the stepdaughter is only here every other week, so she can't have a pet to herself), and one belongs to the other daughter. The rats are social animals, and the three of them are bonded. However, since I'm the one that does the cleanout on SD11's days because she always has a convenient excuse to dodge it, I think the rat is about to become MY rat. I'm the one that takes care of her. SD only wants to have her when it's cuddly-put-the-rat-in-the-ball-or-maze time.

I'm getting real sick of her shit. She's sneaky. And conniving. I think the birds sense it on her and don't want to interact with her, which makes her try that much harder. They're warming up to the other kids just fine because even the 2 1/2 year old has learned to just ignore them and they'll come to you on their own when they feel like it.

It's nice to see so many people on here that "get it" about the bird thing. They just do what they do, you can't necessarily force it. They are persnickety animals, and they choose their people on their own. She can't force the birds to like her. It doesn't work that way.

I rue the departure of my Military Macaw. He'd have given her pesky ass a run for her money with a nice sharp nip and a deafening honk. These conures are too small to defend themselves. Shame.

Willow2010's picture

I would have probably been like your SD too! lol. I love animals and if I saw one I wanted to MAKE it love me!!

But I also knew if an adult told me to leave it alone, I left it alone. Where is DH when this is going on? Why is she up your tookus so much and not DH's?

Tuff Noogies's picture

nope, not petty. i often wish in my own mind "LEAVE MY FUCKING DOG THE HELL ALONE". i do say it out loud to yss, albeit much more tactfully. OSS, however, not so much- "leave him alone, he doesnt LIKE you!"

lots of animals are simply more sensitive to not just noise or movement, but also just emotional energy that we all give off. you cant change what levels they enjoy most. my neighbor's dog will be an eternal puppy, she loves energy. my dog and first cat, nope, they like chilled out calmness. my other cat couldnt care less either way, he just loved everyone.

you dont want your new birdies pulling out all their feathers cuz sd keeps fucking with them, and they depend on you to protect them - so NOPE, not petty at all!!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Odin help one of these kids should they ever throw a rock at my dogs. I'm afraid that might just eat up the last of my restraint, and I'd start snapping kids like twigs.

zerostepdrama's picture

I too have a bird- I have a cockatoo. Thankfully everyone is very weary of him- so they tend to stay away and only engage him if he engages them. Thankfully they recognize that he could cause serious harm to them.

I do have 3 cats and the skids would try to push them to lay with them, cuddle with them, play with them. And the skids are teens/young adults. I have had to get on them about it and thankfully they understood- dont freakin mess with my cats!