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Difficult BM driving us crazy

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Hello all! 

 

 

I've been lurking here for a while, and reading posts for inspiration and help. 

So, I've been with my boyfriend *air_kiss*  for almost 3,5 years. He's been divorced for more than 4 years (with 50% custody) and he has an amazing 8 year old daughter who is basically the apple of our eyes. The BM is horrible. She's aggressive and selfish and threatening.