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SD copying me on everything

Goldish's picture

Submitted by Goldish on Sat, 01/16/2021 - 3:55pm

My SD is 16 and I've been married to DH for 2 years. At the start she was hostile to me and wanted nothing to do with me. Now, although she does not like me much she copies me in every way. She is becoming me. The small face expressions, gestures, talking with my hands, tone, phrases I frequently use, she is changing rapidly and becoming me. It's not just mirroring me, it is literally everything. It is like she is studying me and turning into me. 

DH just says it is normal for a kid to be like those around them. In the last 6 months she has done turned into me. It is like her personlity has gone and she has morphed into me. It nearly always feels like looking at myself in the mirror. 

Not sure what I'm looking for, but input would be great. I just don't understand why a teenager would want to turn into their stepmom. It is not like she admires me and I most certainty am not a role model to her. She has done everything to fight against my marriage, now it's like she wants to be me. It makes me uncomfortable.  

Comments

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Sat, 01/16/2021 - 4:42pm

Maybe she figures her dad is attracted to you, so if she is like you Daddy will love her more and pay more attention to her.   Sad but possible.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sun, 01/17/2021 - 6:39am

More info needed - is BM in her life? Were she and DH super close (ie, enmeshed) before you came along? Does she feel displaced as the "woman of the home" now that you are there?

It may be true that this is a way of competing for DH's attention, but if so, that signals some major mental health issues on her part.

Little savages's picture

Submitted by Little savages on Wed, 01/20/2021 - 1:19pm

My SD13 copies/mimics me when she's interacting with Ss10 and when she thinks I'm not around. She behaves like a mini-Mom most of the time anyway.  Interrupts me and SO when we talk about her brother/school etc and offers us her opinions and solutions. 4 years of telling her to butt out have had no effect. It's kind of funny how she is so obnoxious yet secretly wants to behave like me!