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My SD (32) admitted, to me, that she is the center of the universe... sort of... ;)

GoldenGoose's picture

I have not posted in a long time, primarily because it has been quiet. DH’s kids have all graduated. The two youngest (19) are off doing their own thing. One is in school and the other is moving > 1,000 miles away to work and to take some classes at the local college. DH had a small exchange with the troll (AKA BM2) regarding these kids’ college expenses and figured that she would let him know how much he is obligated to pay for them. Mind you, after hundreds of texts and phone calls over the last few years, they have, maybe, returned about 4 of them. She tried to inform him that it was in the divorce “degree.” Post-majority expenses are not outlined in their agreement and she was advised to retrieve a copy from the court first and then they would have an intelligent conversation once she has reread it. That was five months ago. We have not heard from her since-perhaps she was threatened by the phrase, “intelligent conversation.” His middle daughter also does not speak to him, so all is quiet there. Smile

However, this post is not about them, but rather about eldest SD (32), who I had disengaged from. But, like some others, I have cautiously/slowly reengaged as a result of her show of respect and efforts to connect with us in ways other than requests/hints for cash. So, what the hell…. On occasion, we have a chance to talk, maybe every two weeks. Again, I am guarded because of all of the tension that she has caused, in the past (withholding GKs from DH, alienating her half sibs from DH, exclusion tactics etc). I feel like she had been making an effort, lately. Perhaps, she has discovered that she can’t yank our chains anymore or maybe because DH and I have moved on with our lives despite efforts to cause drama. I don’t know what her reasoning is, but it sure is a lot less stressful.

Well, I must have caught her on a night that she had too much to drink. I called to check on her youngest child (3 months), who had recent surgery. The conversation was pretty one-sided and consisted of a slurred rambling of complaints about her own husband. The best part of the conversation and what this long “winded” post is about, was her description of herself in relation to the rest of her family. (mind you, I would have given ANYTHING for this admission, about 1+ years ago) …. and this is a direct quote:

“I am the center of the universe of my family…. That’s why I am always so stressed out. I am there for everyone and have to tell everyone what to do. Why do I have to be the one to save everyone? No… no…I think I am more like lava. You know…. You know how the center of the earth has lava at the core. Yeah, that’s me. I am the lava at the center of the earth’s core.” Alrighty then….. :?

So, there you go. She is the lava and without lava, what would you have? Before disengaging from her, I would have been outraged at this clearly narcissistic statement. Now, because I am really not incredibly emotionally invested, it is just plain funny.

Onward…. My SD is lava… at the center of the earth’s core. In case you were wondering what you would find if you dug and dug and dug until you got to the center of the earth’s core. Mystery solved..

Comments

GoldenGoose's picture

Her BM is also a big drinker. The conversation that led up to this comment was about how upset she was that DH's sister (her aunt), sat down with her and had a conversation/concern about her drinking. She then told me (this makes me laugh), "If I really had a drinking problem, would my mom have left me 7 bottles of wine, before she left?" ummm.. yes. (Her BM had just been there to visit while SD's DS was having surgery.)

I also forgot to mention, this is her 5th child. She, thankfully, has her cousin and brother living with her. So, at least there are two other adults in the house helping with theses kids.

GoldenGoose's picture

^^^^^ and she is in the process of completing her Master's Degree in Teaching. Lord, help us.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Hey Golden Goose, welcome back! I've been wondering where you disappeared to. Your osd is a piece of work!
Did anyone ever tell her that she may be the center of A universe _ her family's - but not THE universe!
What a deluded narcissist! That poor baby... got itself one messed up mommy!

GoldenGoose's picture

It has been very peaceful. It took me months to get used to that unfamiliar feeling, again!

I know. I feel so bad for that poor baby (actually babies-he is the last of 5 kids). I would love to scoop them all up and bring them home with me.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Five kids! Jeeze Louise! She is aggressively reproducing! Hope she gets help and / or matures some.

GoldenGoose's picture

Me too!