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Treating a teenager like an infant?

Glenda's picture

My SS16 has not hit puberty. Alright. His dad and mom broke it off like 7 years ago, while he was younger and his dad's "baby". The teenager now still tries to manipulate his father by litterally acting like a small child. Blows me away. I have students that are 13 that look and act like men, and this one resorts to this? Like he wants to look needy so dad will look at him as innocent. "Daddy tuck me in" HE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT. And his father, well he sees it as sweet, and that he is a good kid. Ummm....what??? Does anyone else see this type of behavior? He is a straight A student. Very very intelligent. He grunts when he is asked to do something. Daddy come here and give me a hug. Daddy daddy daddy. When he leaves, no contact at all.

He wants to be treated like the adult he thinks he is, but when his father does anything to "teach him how to be a man" the kid resorts to this behavior. No shame. Very controlling. It is odd to put it lightly.

Is this type of manipulation uncommon? I dont have kids of my own, so I lack the insight related to being a parent. All I go by is my students who range from K-8th. Nothing like this. Nothing.

Anyone?
:?

Comments

Glenda's picture

We almost broke up over this manipulating behavior. Now, he is made to do more, but at the end of the day I still hear "Daddy tuck me in. I love you. Daddy guess what? I love you". He gets sympathy very quickly. Honestly, the boy looks like he is a large 8 year old. No lie.

Im so scared of pushing it too far. I would love to hear that someone in school found out about it. What would that SS6 have to say for himself? GRRRRRR

bearcub25's picture

My 5yo grandson does the You Know What Nana? I love you.

Does you SS do the lispy voice too? LMAO.

Glenda's picture

Close enough. He has been doing it all weekend. Am I a bad person for not wanting to interract with him? He told his father he didnt feel like going to his weeding, so he didnt. Last night we were looking at wedding photos for the first time. He just spend his time coming in and out of the room talking about "Daddy watch me play" :sick:

I am completely disengaging from him. Not that he cares, but I used to care about upseting him if I didnt agree to engage with him. He can be sweet...when he wants or is happy.

This is a teenager that I would not have wasted my time with in highschool, and i feel the same with him now. Father keeps saying "He will grow out of it someday". Ok. Just struggle through the pain for years until he feels like taking his father into consideration. Years. Sounds like fun.

oneoffour's picture

Some parents are actually blind to the fact that their 'baby' has grown up. My 26 yr old daughter can twist her father into knots with this game. I tell her to knock it off because she looks silly. I suspect DH wants to hold onto any megre offering of friendship this man-child chooses to hand out. And as long as he is DOING something for his son he gets a connection to him.

And the puberty thing has a LOT to do with it.

Glenda's picture

I cant wait till he does. This awkward limbo is killing me. Then, all of a sudden, the kid snaps out of it and asks for the right to make decisions for himrself. Now you want to act like you are not a child or mentally delayed?

You are absoulutely right. This is the only connection the SS16 provides his father. His father grows resentful if the roller coaster, then when something the 16yr old does something stupid, DH loses it and says thinks like "You serious? Be a man. You walk around here like a 6 year old! WTf?" Then shit hits the fan and kid runs off. Good thing is that I dont allow him to go into the room behind him when the kid throws a fit. That used to work. Does sometimes. He will run off into the room, wait, and if his father doesnt come crawling back with an apology, he has kicked the wall. (eye roll).

Glenda's picture

Your comment was very insightful. It makes total sense. I guess it is both good news and bad. This can be outgrown if less was put on "keeping the kid dependent" and instead preparing him for the real world. At least I know it is not something unique to our situation, and that Im not a bitch for worrying about it.

Hope all turns out well for you. Sounds like youve got your head on straight. No tolerance for bullshit right?