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That Elusive "Someday"

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 12:27pm

People just don't get it. Unless you've been a stepparent (especially a stepmom, you JUST. DON'T. GET. IT.

And that's not BAD. It just IS. You don't know what we go through day after day after day. Even then, if you're not a FT or 50% SM, you don't really understand the situation of full- or half-timers.

My mom is a SM, but she didn't become one until her skids were well into their 30s. They all live far away.

My SM only dealt with us EOWE. And our BM isn't psycho. She actually (GASP) encouraged our relationship with our dad and SM.

Please Save Me from SS14

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Tue, 12/24/2013 - 7:29am

I'm spending the day at home with SS14 while DH works. BS17 is also at work, so I don't even have a buffer. This kid is being SO. DAMN. DENSE I'm going to lose my mind. He's not super bright to begin with, has no common sense whatsoever, and I guess the close proximity for the past few days has just gotten my nerves frayed.

First, he's snorting and sneezing all over the house. Not washing his hands. I swear, if I wind up sick for the holidays and my vacation I will NOT be happy. He knows better. I asked him if he wanted some medicine for the sneezing and runny nose. His response?

Harboring Hate

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Tue, 11/12/2013 - 3:44pm

And I hate it.

I'm not normally that kind of person. I just hate BM so much for what she's done to our family, and I can't let it go. I'm not the kind of person who holds a grudge, but I wish she didn't exist. I don't wish her dead, but I wish she just...wasn't, if that makes any sense.

Confronted BM with SS9's Paternity Test Results

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Mon, 11/11/2013 - 6:46am

And you know what? She didn't bat an eye. She had NO reaction whatsoever other than a smirk. No sooner had DH finished telling her about the test and saying it didn't change the fact that he loves him and he'll always be his "son" than she came out with,

"Do you want SF to adopt him?"

Gotta Love the Double Standard

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 9:57am

I've noticed something the past couple of years in my situation, and it seems to be pretty common among most of our blended families.

SF is a parent figure and should be respected and be allowed to discipline and be alone with the kids. I'm just DH's wife and therefore invisible and irrelevant.

The SSs' stepsister is their sibling. My BS17 is just a kid who lives at their father's house.

BM, SF, SSs, and stepsister are a family. DH, me, BS and SSs are not, or at least not the "real" family.

Very Messy Situation- Looking for Feedback

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 1:03pm

OK, here's your hypothetical scenario. You have a kid. He's now 9. His mother has been attempting to alienate him from you for the past year, and has finally succeeded. He's gone from 50/50 custody to EOWE. During his visits, he doesn't speak to you or anyone else in the family. He hides in his room the whole time. He never wants to talk on the phone when you call to see how he is. The kid has always been far closer to his mother as she never encouraged a father-son relationship. THEN, you find out the kid isn't yours biologically. You still love him, but there's no relationship.

First EOWE Visit Just Ended

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Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Sun, 09/01/2013 - 4:01pm

And SS9 sat in his room alone or down in the family room alone, refusing to interact with anyone, coming out only for meals. His choice. DH told him when he left that his weekends can be enjoyable or they can be boring, it's his choice. Apparently he's choosing boring.

We're not going to coddle the kid or beg him to interact with us. If he wants to, fine. If he doesn't , fine. DH feels bad about it, but his level of interest regarding SS right now is pretty much zero. As for me, I couldn't care less whether he comes or not. It's nothing but misery when he's here.

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